Reasons
by PrincessBones
Summary: Becoming a family again...Elena, Stefan, Damon, and Bonnie...getting over past history and moving to the future. This is not a love story and yes my pairings between characters flip flop...this is a story about a conflicted group of friends!
1. Chapter 1

**Damon POV**

She escaped and never came looking for me. She promised we would spend eternity together; we had a few months. She knew where to find me and she never tried. I lived my life for her, the way of life she taught me, the way of life I chose in order to be with her.

I followed Stephen, to him it seemed I was torturing him for what he had done, that I blamed him for Katherine being taken away. That isnt why I followed him at all though, I had no one else. No other family, no friends, no one; except him, my brother.

He was determined to be the hero, the better man, he did not kill humans, he did not feed off humans. He tried to live as a human and probably would have been able to if it weren't for me following him. Now as I stand here in the tomb that they opened for me, for me to save Katherine, to finally be able to live the life I had searched for so long, she was no where to be found.

"She's not here! She's not here! She's not here!" I screamed over and over.

"Damon we need to get out of here." I heard Stephen tell me. How can we leave without her?

She has to be here somewhere. I saw them take her away. "It doesn't make sense. They locked her inside."

"If we don't leave now we're not getting out." How can he be so calm? Katherine, My Katherine, hell, his Katherine was suppose to be down here.

"How could she not be in here?" Where is she? Why isn't she in here with the others?

"It's not worth spending all of eternity down here. She's not worth it." Stephen said calmy. How can he be calm in a time like this? The love of my life, the one I had been living for, hunting for, searching for, she was not where she was suppose to be.

"No!" She is worth it. I need her. I need Katherine! She has to be here.

"Damon!" Elana. She looks so much like Katherine but is nothing like her. "Please!" She said practically begging.

Stephen pushed me in front of him and I allowed him to lead me out. As soon as we were out of the tomb he dropped his hand and wrapped Elena in his arms. He had Elena. I had no one. It hurt to see him holding her. I had no one to hold and no one to hold me. I had no one.

I followed Stephen and Elena out of the tomb but walked past a few feet into the woods as they checked on Jeremy. I was lost, completely spaced out in my own world. I felt her come closer to me and I looked at her seeing her for the first time.

**Elena POV**

I saw him stumble past us and I followed him. Stephen was with Jeremy and I knew they were both okay. It was obvious Damon was not. He had lived over a century searching for Katherine and she wasn't there.

I had never seen anyone so lost, I don't think I was even that bad after my parents were killed. I mean I was bad, spacey and shutting the world out, but not like Damon. Damon was broken.

His eyes followed me as I moved to the front of him. His eyes which had always been so full of fire, full of spite, full of hate, full of fear; they were now empty. I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head against his chest, "I'm sorry." I told him.

What else can you say to someone who had lost their purpose in life; or rather lost what they thought their purpose in life was. I could feel Stephen's eyes on my back as I held Damon.

I knew he was scared for his brother, as much as he hated to admit it he enjoyed having Damon around. Someone who he didn't have to be afraid of knowing his secret. Someone who knew of his history, someone he shared a history with. They were both hurt deeply by Katherine not being in that tomb. They were both scared of what the future held for them. Stephen knew he had me, and Bonnie, and Jeremy, and Sheila on his side. Damon did not know he had anyone. I had to show him that we did care.

Stephen needed Damon to be okay and Damon needed someone to hold him, to love him. To show their affection towards him even though he acted as though that was the last thing on Earth he could ever want.

Hell, maybe it was the last thing he wanted, but it is the first thing he needed. He needed to know that Stephen and I cared about him. That he could trust us. I felt horrible to betraying him the other day but I knew we had to do it. I promised him earlier that day that I would help him get Katherine back. Well, if Katherine didn't ever really want him I will do whatever I can to help him feel the love he was hoping to receive from Katherine. I was not about to break my promise to him now, not when he needed me to keep it more than anything else.

**Stephen POV**

Coming out of the tomb she wrapped her arms around me so tight it hurt. I didn't know she had that kind of strength. The fearlessness she showed running back into the tomb, coming after me to get Damon. She knew I needed Damon to come out of there. She needed him to come out of it as well.

After they came back from Atlanta together something had changed. Things were different between the three of us. Damon wanted to help us and we wanted to help him. Damon had somehow become more human and less of the non-caring, murderous jerk he had been since Katherine was taken.

When Katherine was not in the tomb I didn't understand where she could have been. It was my fault she was discovered, I was hoping to have fixed that wrong by rescuing her, by allowing Damon the woman he loved. I did not believe that he truly loved her, I thought he was just compelled by her. Hell,it took me decades to figure out.

I stood with Jeremy until he was able to stand up, we watched Elena hold Damon. It looked as if she was actually holding him to keep him standing. She was helping him in a way he would never allow me. I was surprised when he allowed me to lead him from the tomb. Physical touch other than sex was strictly prohibited for him; or so I had observed over the last few decades. No one was ever allowed to get close to him, to know him on an emotional level. As soon as they started to he would dispose of them. The last person he allowed in was Katherine.

He was physically and emotionally unable to let anyone close to him. He was too afraid of being hurt again. And who could blame him. Our mother had died during childbirth with me—leaving him. Our Father turned his back on him when he returned from the War because he was not man enough. I had turned on him through our Father's doing in poisoning Katherine with the vervain. I had since done nothing but complain whenever he came around.

He only wanted to ruin me it seemed; that was until just recently. Something about Elena gets to him. I don't know if it is the way she looks or the way she acts but she doesn't put up with his crap and tells him what is on her mind. For some reason he trusts her. My brother, the one who has never fully trusted anyone trusts her, Elena, my girlfriend. He is more like he was when we were young, before Katherine when he is with her. He jokes, he teases, he smiles.

Seeing him this broken, this lost hurts. I can feel the tear glide down my cheek as I walk with Jeremy over to the two of them. I slowly put my arm around Damon's shoulders as Elena loosened her grip on him. He wavered and for a minute I thought he may actually fall over. Instead he allowed Elena and I to lead him back home. Once inside the door he went directly to the sofa and sat down.

I stood in the hallway watching him while talking with Elena. "You should go take Jeremy home and go check on Bonnie." I told her.

"Will you drive us?" She asked me once again enveloping me in a giant hug.

I drove Elena and Jeremy to their house before driving back home hoping to talk to Damon...only he wasn't there.

I knew he went after Anna, and had an idea of what Anna may have to tell him so I started a fire in the fireplace and sat down to wait for him to return home. He didn't have anywhere else to go. He had no one to turn to other than me and Elena. We were his family. A screwed up very dysfunctional family.

**Damon POV**

I needed answers. Where the hell is Katherine. I have been living in Hell without her all these years. Searching for her, longing to be with her, needing to live the dream life she promised we would. Anna knew that Katherine was not in the tomb. She knew...that means she knows where Katherine is. She knows where I can find her.

I knew Anna would take Pearl back to the motel room just as soon as she was able to get her blood. Until they returned I sat in the dark waiting for them. "You knew Katherine wasn't in there." I said as soon as they walked in and turned on the light.

"You wouldn't have helped me." Anna said looking scared. I was mad at her, she knew all along, knew I would be destroyed by the knowledge that Katherine just left but she had no other choice to get her Mother back.

"Why do you get a happy ending?" I snarled as I sprang onto Pearl. Why could they be together if I could be with no one? Why did everyone else get what made them happy? Why couldn't I also be happy?

Anna freaked out squealing trying to get me off her precious mother. "Why do you get it and I don't?" I asked again trying hard to hold back my emotions.

Pearl had a story ready for me, Katherine bribed the guard. She got away; she was never locked away in the tomb. She was free somewhere, free living the life she promised we would live together the life she also promised to Pearl and Anna. I dropped my grip on Pearl. It wasn't her fault. Katherine had ruined their lives as well.

"Last time I saw her was Chicago 1983. She knew where you were Damon. She didn't care." Anna told me through tears as she held tight to her Mother. I couldnt handle this. I needed to vent but I had no energy, no desire to do anything, to go anywhere. I wanted to find Katherine and ask her why...why she lied, why she never came to find me...Why? Why? Why?

Dazed, lost, scared, angry; somehow I made it back to the Boarding house. Stephen had lit a fire in the fireplace and was sitting in the living room waiting for me. I fell into the sofa and got lost in the flames. I figured he would launch into a lecture about how I was better off and he told me so but he never said a word. He just sat there with me while I tried to sort out my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions.

**Elana POV**

I feel like I need to be in three places at once; with Jeremy, with Bonnie, and with Stephen and Damon. Jeremy needs me, but says he doesn't. It is like he knows but doesn't know what he knows is the same thing all of the rest of us have been hiding. I wish I could tell him everything that really happened tonight. Who Anna really was. Why he was actually laying passed out on the forest floor.

I got to Bonnie's as she was helping her Grandmother into bed. I waited in the living room while she went in and while I was waiting I called Stephen. "I just got to Bonnies." I told him.

"Everything alright?" He asked. I could tell he was pacing in the hallway.

"Yeah. How's Damon? You think he's gonna be okay?" I asked. Stephen had people he could come to. Damon didn't and for some reason I felt the need to be there for him. Over the last couple months I had grown to care for him. I trusted him; and I needed him.

"I dunno. Can I call you later?" He said. It sounded like he was on the edge. He had loved Katherine—or he was compelled to love her. She was the reason him and Damon had their issues. She was the reason they were both vampires.

"Yeah. Of course." I said getting off the phone. I didnt know what to do. I knew Bonnie needed me there, to talk about what had happened that night. It was her first big spell. What had happened that night was a big deal and it changed our lives; more so than we realized.

"Eeeeeelaaaaannaaaaa!!!!!" I heard Bonnie scream from the bedroom. I dropped the phone and ran in there. "She's not breathing!" Bonnie cried shaking her Grandmother. "Please wake up..." She begged.

I ran back to the hall and grabbed the phone calling 9-1-1. Then went back in and grabbed Bonnie who had gotten the spell book and was trying desperately to find something to bring Sheila back.

I held her, wrapped her in my arms and cried with her until the paramedics arrived. She did everything they could but it was too late. Sheila was dead. The stress of the spell had killed her. It was our fault; if we would have gotten out sooner, or not needed to break the seal at all... "Bonnie I am so sorry..." I cried.

"It is my fault. I made her do it." She cried.

"Are your parents around?" One of the paramedics asked us.

"They are out of town. I will call them." I answered for Bonnie.

"Do you want us to take her or leave her here?" They asked Bonnie.

"Leave her. I do not want Grams going to the morgue!" She said glaring at the paramedic. He nodded and then they left. We were alone with the dead body of her Grandmother.

"I need Stephen and Damon to come here now." Bonnie said sitting up and wiping her eyes the instant the paramedics walked out of the house.

"Damon?" I asked shocked. "Why Damon?" I could understand wanting Stephen to come, he had saved her and her Grandmother cared for Stephen...but Damon?

"Please Elena just call them." She asked me gathering her spell books and packing them away in a trunk with all the other items of witchcraft that were around the house.

I picked the phone back up and dialed. "Stephen, Sheila is dead. Bonnie wants you and Damon to come over here right now." I said softly into the phone.

**Stephen POV**

"Sheila died. We need to go to Bonnie's." I told Damon as I hung up the phone. I dont know why I told him, he heard the conversation. Still in his zombie state he stood up and followed me slowly out the door. Instead of driving we walked through the dark streets on Mystic Falls to the house. All of the lights were off and when we arrived and the only light was from a single candle on the dining room table. I followed Damon into the house and we sat down around the table.

"I need your help." Bonnie said quietly once we sat down.

"Grams always said she wanted to have a funeral like Emily's but as far as I know Emily didn't have a funeral because there was no family record of her ever dying."

"Uh Bonnie, Emily didn't have a funeral. She made me promise to protect her family and then just disappeared." I answered.

"No..she didn't just disappear. After Katherine and Pearl were taken there were things she had to do...things she couldn't do alone." Damon whispered. It felt like he didnt have the strength to talk any louder and I questioned how long it had been since he had fed.

"What are you talking about?" Elena asked him.

"Katherine turned me, taught me to live the way she did. To kill without discretion. I killed Stephen not knowing that he had some of Katherine's blood in him because he made it so she was caught."

"That was the morning after they were taken..." I whispered finally understanding Damon. It was my fault Katherine was taken away but it was his fault I am a vampire. He kept coming around to make sure I was okay. I allowed him to keep coming because I needed to know he was still okay after what happened with Katherine.

"She had me go out to the woods, by the bridge and chant some gobley-gook witchy stuff and then she fell backwards...only she didn't fall she completely vanished."

"Do you remember what you said?" Bonnie asked placing her hand over Damon's. It was a simple touch and yet Damon flinched at the feeling and drew his hand back into his lap and crossed his arms tight around his body.

"It was in a little green book. It didn't look like anything special. Just a tiny green book...she told me to just read from the book...there were three of us there that night...me, Anna and Emily. That was the last time I saw Anna."

Bonnie got up from the table and ran into the living room. She dug around in a trunk and pulled out a tiny green book. "Damon is this the book?"

Damon nodded and then stood up and went outside. "Stephen are you okay?" Elena asked me.

"I am fine, just worried about him. Katherine not being in the tomb really messed him up. I have never seen him this upset and he cant talk to me about it."

"Stephen how can I help?" She asked me as she leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"He trusts you." Was all I could say. If I tried to say anything more I would have lost it. I needed to hold myself together until Damon was back to normal.

"I love you Stephen Salvatore." She said standing up and wrapping her arms around me. I nearly lost it right then and there. I buried my face into her stomach and she held me for a moment, "It is okay for you to be upset too you know." She said pulling back slightly so she could see my face.

"I have you. I will be fine. It is Damon I am worried about." I told her standing up quickly and walking towards the front window. I could see Damon sitting on the front step leaning against the post staring up at the moon. "Elena please help him." I begged.

She nodded and brushed her arm across mine as she walked out the front door to go to Damon. I needed her to help him. I needed them both and until he was okay I only had her. I needed him too.

* * *

_What do you think??_


	2. Chapter 2

**Damon POV**

"Lets walk." She said grabbing my hand and pulling me up off of the step. I looked at her wondering where she wanted to go, why she wanted me to go with her. I allowed her to lead me as far as the cemetery.

"Elena what the hell are we doing here?" I asked her. Instead of answering she led me further in, in to the new section of the cemetery. She led me to her parents grave and sat down.

"This is where we met." She whispered. "I was scared of you. You were a dangerous jerk." She told me as I sat down next to her. "I thought that because that was the only side of you that you allowed people to see. Now I see you and I'm not scared in the slightest, you can definitely still be a jerk though."

"Quite the pep talk Elena." I said leaning forward and putting my elbows on my knees with my chin resting against my arms.

"Damon do you trust me?" she asked me after a few moments of silence. I stared at her, I did not know what to say. If I trusted her it meant I needed her, if I didn't it meant I didn't have anyone who I could trust...

"I have not trusted anyone as much as I trust you in the last century...but..."

"No buts Damon. You either do or you don't so stop being a chicken and talk to me." She said jerking on my arm and spinning me around to face her.

"It hurts." I whispered.

"You are scared." She told me leaning closer.

"I can't." I said as I scooted back away from her.

"You need to." She told me as she put her face inches from my face.

"Why do you care?" I asked looking away...

"Because you are my..."she started to say but I interrupted her...

"Boyfriends brother." I spat out.

"I was going to say because you are my friend Damon...Friend as in someone you care about." She said as she firmly put her hands on my chin and jerked my head so I was looking directly into her eyes.

"Oh." Was all I could say. She forced me to stare at her for a few seconds before letting go. I looked down at the ground again and asked, "Elena, why do you care? I have been nothing but a jerk, I have kidnapped you, attacked you, threatened you, used you as collateral and yet you say you are my friend. What the heck is wrong with you?" I really didn't understand how she could care for me the way she did.

"I wish I had an answer for you Damon but I don't. I just...I need you. I feel connected to you somehow and I cant really explain it but it is there and I am here with you and I feel like I can talk to you about stuff and I want you to stop being so scared and I want you to talk to me too." She said as tears filled her eyes.

"Your parents grave." I said looking at the gravestone.

"Adopted parents." She whispered.

"I followed you because I could feel your pain. Then I saw that you looked exactly like her...then I knew Stephen fell in love with you. He told me from the beginning you were different. I didn't want you to be different. But..."

"Why are we so screwed up?" She asked me with a small smile.

"Elena I can't do this. I know what the logical thing to do is but I have never been able to do the logical thing. I always act with my heart. My heart for over a century has been with Katherine and tonight I found out that was just one giant lie. She never loved me. She never cared about me...I lost the relationship I had with Stephen because of her. I gave up life as a real person because of her...and for what? What the hell was the point of it all?"

"You are a good guy Damon. Fucked up, but deep down you are a good guy."

"That is a bunch of crap Elena and you know it. I am a murderer. I have done nothing but hurt people and for what? For Katherine, a girl who never really gave a shit about me."

"You did what you had to to get to Katherine. People do crazy things for the people they love." She said smiling at me.

"What like pity their boyfriends messed up older brother?" I said frustrated. I hate talking about emotional crap...it hurts to much.

"For Christs sake Damon I dont pity you. I care about you...and in case you havent noticed there is a big difference."

"Elena why do you care? Seriously why? I dont get it. You risked your life for me tonight and I really just do not understand why you would do that after everything I have done."

**Elena POV**

"Damon I am here with you because I care about you. How many times do I have to tell you that? I dont know how else to explain it."

"But why Elena? No one has ever cared...I thought Katherine did...but...and Stephen but I screwed that up...but it is different with you." He said as his eyes filled with tears. When he noticed that I noticed he turned his head away from me.

"Elena dont." He said when I scooted closer to him and started to put my arm around him.

"Damon stop being an ass. I can see that you are hurting so why wont you just let me be here for you?" I asked. A centuries worth of pain all boiled and rolled into one independent scared self righteous butt head.

"I dont know how to let someone be here for me. I have never had that...Don't you get it Elena? I have never had someone here for me...never had someone try to understand me." He said allowing a single tear to slide down his cheek.

I crawled around so I was kneeling in front of him and wiped the tear with my thumb gently sliding it down his chin. "Damon you cant hide anymore because there is nothing to hide behind."

He fell into my arms and I felt the tears soak into my shirt. We sat there, on my parents grave as he cried out all of the pain he had held in for over a century. I continued to hold him long after the tears stopped flowing. He needed someone to love him for who he was and he had needed that his entire life. Neither of us spoke, it was surreal the levels of pain and emotion he held inside.

While I held him my thoughts kept going back to Stephen and Bonnie. They had both lost so much; Bonnie lost her Grandmother, the one person who she could always turn to, the one persno who truly understood the things she dealt with. Stephen; he never knew his Mother, his father had lied to him and used him in order to take away the woman that both him and Damon loved. He lost the relationship he had with Damon because he entrusted his father. For the last 145 years he had been living a lone life, never able to live a stable life because of Katherine...and now he thought he would finally be freed from the guilt he felt for the loss Damon had by Katherine's capture...and then she was not there. Our lives, our hopes, and our dreams had all been shattered once again.

**Stephen POV**

I stood by the window watching as Elena led Damon down the street. I didn't know for sure their destination but had an idea. A neutral location; one that was safe to them both. I knew that Damon would not hurt Elena; in fact I was surprised at how much faith he put in her tonight. In 145 years he had not trusted a single person.

Elena saw something in him, something that I had not seen since before we even met Katherine. Through her eyes I had started to see it too. He had been hurt, we all had been hurt...when would the pain end?

"Stephen?" I heard Bonnie call as she broke my train of thought. I turned around to see her tear stained face. She had been thrown into this mess, a vampire mess because of us and now she had lost her Grandmother. "Will it ever stop hurting?" She asked me as a new bunch of tears began to slide down her cheek.

"You never forget the ones you loved." I said walking towards her. "You learn to live with the pain though and it does get easier."

She sat down next to me on the sofa. "Is Elena safe with Damon?" She asked me looking out the window and seeing them almost to the end of the block.

"A week ago I would have said no...but..." I started.

"Nothing is the same anymore is it?" She asked me as she leaned back into the sofa and sighed.

"Have you told your parents yet about Sheila...your Grandmother?" I asked changing the subject slightly.

"No. I need to...but I cant. Grams didn't want a funeral and that is what they will want for her...to be normal. But that isn't what she wanted."

"You need your family Bonnie." I told her.

"Stephen my family doesn't understand. Elena, you and Damon...you understand. I need to be with you. Not with my family. They don't know what happened, they wont ever know how Grams really died."

"I wish we never had to get you involved."

"Stephen we were destined to have this happened. Grams always said things happen for a reason and even though those reasons may never make sense they happen and we deal with them the best we know how and we stick together with those who have proven to be trustworthy and give those we dont trust a chance to prove themselves."

"Thanks for throwing that in about Damon." I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Stephen you have to give him a chance. He is in pain. That much is obvious just by looking at him. He has been tortured for 145 years... you cant expect him to be all happy and smiley all the time. You never are so why should he?"

"You and Elena...girls in general...I just dont get you! Damon is a murderer. We are both vampires. Your Grandmother just died because we were trying to save another vampire who started this whole mess in the first place and you are both more worried about me and Damon than for yourselves."

"Yes." She said, though she cringed when I mentioned her Grandmother.

"I want to help you Bonnie. Help you do whatever it is Sheila wanted done. I want to protect Elena, to spend my life with her, to live a normal human life. I want Damon to be happy. I want me to be happy." I said as I fought back my emotion as I tried to force the words out.

"I think I may have a way to do that Stephen...I think what Grams wants me to do...what she tried to do...I am not strong enough yet and still need to learn but I think..." Bonnie rambled on.

"You think there is a way to turn us from Vampire to Human again?" I asked surprised that she would even bring that up.

"Bonnie I dont want to ask you to..."

"Stephen shut up. Grams wanted to turn you before all of this happened, when she saw how much you and Elena cared for each other. Grams wanted to help you."

"I cant do it without Damon." I whispered.

"I don't even know how to do it Stephen I just know it is possible."

"What all do we need to do for Sheila?" I asked her.

"I guess take her to the bridge and chant what is in the green book." She said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"When?" I asked gently.

"As soon as Elena comes back with Damon." She answered standing up and pacing. "Hopefully before the sun comes up.

**Damon POV**

I am freaking sitting here on her parents grave and crying like a little girl. It just feels wrong, I don't think I have cried since I was six years old and our Mother died. Why is she here with me anyway? I dont understand why she cares so much.

What I really don't understand is how she can figure out what it is that I need without me even knowing what I need. "Thank you Elena." I said straightening up.

"What do we do know?" She said loosening her grip around me but still leaning in close. Closer than she probably should be considering she is dating my brother.

"We go get the witches body and take her to the bridge and Bonnie and I recite the stupid green book until her body floats up and then just disappears." I tell her...it is a little more complicated than that but no need to go into detail when she will see it soon enough.

"Where does she go?" Elena asked me as she stood up and stretched.

"Her spirit goes into those nearby and become like a protective shield linking us together for eternity."

"For eternity?" She asked me confused.

"Well, eternity for me and Stephen...just the rest of your and Bonnie's lives but it makes it so that we have to protect you and your descendents." I tried to explain.

"Oh. Cheery." She said pulling me up, "Damon are you okay with doing this? I mean...Katherine and..."

"Katherine...let's not talk about that right now..." I said quietly; "I'm not ready..."

"You will tell me when you are ready?" She asked me as she took my hand in hers. I took my hand out of hers and put my arm around her shoulders. I nodded my head and we walked slowly back to Bonnie's house.

**Elena POV**

If I can't do anything else productive I can at least be there for people who need someone; to be a good friend. As weird as it is to say it I feel a great deal of affection for Damon. He may be an ass but he needs people to love him and care for him as much as the next guy.

He has saved my life more than once. He sat with me in the cemetery over the summer, he said that my grief drew him to me. We both understand loss, we both understand the fear of the unknown, what it is like to lose yourself through the loss of a loved one. The difference being that I had my brother to help me deal and he did not. I am glad that he can talk to me when he has no one else.

Based pearly on the amount of time we spent in the cemetery tonight and how closely he allowed me to hold him I would guess he hadn't cried since long before he was turned by Katherine. He had to be strong for his younger brother in life; and had to be strong for himself. Putting up a shield and holding it for so long will take a while to let go, a while for him to open up completely...if he ever does.

"Damon will you..." I started to ask him...

"I will talk to you Elena but not tonight...it has already been too much tonight. Even a big strong vampire can handle only so much." He said putting his defenses back on overdrive.

"Are you okay to do the spell with Bonnie tonight?" I asked as we came into view with the house.

"Elena will you stay?" He asked me pausing briefly before he climbed the first step.

"Stay?" I asked confused.

"I need you to stay close." He said as he let go of me and walked through the front door.

I rolled my eyes at him and followed him through the door. Bonnie and Stephen were sitting on the couch in the dark waiting for us.

"Lets get the witch to the bridge." Damon said sarcastically.

"Dammit Damon!" Stephen yelled.

"Guys stop. Now. We have something to do and we need to do it before sunrise. It is 4am and we need to do it before sunrise so pretend like you are grownups and freaking get along."

"How do we get her to the bridge?" Bonnie asked as she stood up with the green book. Lets do this.

**Stephen POV**

When they came back to the house something had changed. Not in Elena but in Damon. They were only gone for two hours and thirty-seven minutes but he seemed 150 years younger. The way he held himself, the stress in him, it seemed less somehow and for that I was grateful to Elena. Maybe if he kept talking to her he would become human again...well as human as a vampire can get.

"I can carry her." I said standing up and walking into the bedroom.

Bonnie followed me, "She has this cloak...she said it was Emily's. Wrap her in it to carry her." She told me as she handed me the cloak, I remembered it. Emily was wearing it the night that Katherine and Pearl were taken.

"Damon you get Elena and Bonnie there safe and I will take Sheila. We will meet at the bridge in ten minutes." I said as I lifted Sheila out of the bed and carried her out the hallway.

I was Bonnie start to cry as I walked down the steps and disappeared into the woods. I took the long way to the bridge and when I got their Elena was hugging Bonnie with Damon standing behind them with his arms crossed and looking away.

It appeared that if he were to look at them he himself would break down. I hated seeing him so broken, I knew it was good, because it meant he was opening up, at least with Elena but it was still difficult to see him.

Carrying Shelia had been easy. Our souls were connected through our families histories. It hurt to know that we would never see her again, but I knew she would always be around to protect us, to protect our families. I had so many questions to ask Sheila but now I would never get the chance.

She knew our history, she knew why we wanted to open the tomb. She didn't know that Katherine had somehow managed to get away because Emily didn't know. Emily thought that she was sealing Katherine and all of the other vampires into the tomb.

"Lets do this please. It has been a long night." Damon said as he walked towards Bonnie.

"How do we do this?" Bonnie asked.

"You open the book and we read it from cover to cover." Damon said looking at Elena as he said it.

"What do we do?" I asked Damon.

"You stay close." He said still directed to Elena.

"I'm not going anywhere." She assured him.

"Stephen I need you to lay her body down on the edge of the bridge and take six steps back behind Bonnie. Elena you do the same thing behind me. No matter what happens do not move until I say otherwise." He said looking back and forth between the three of us.

We all got into our positions and Damon and Bonnie started reading out of the book. I do not know how Damon was able to read whatever it was that they were reading, or how Bonnie was able to for that matter, but within seconds I saw Sheila's body begin to rise off the bridge.

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_Comments?? What do you all think???_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Comments...I need comments...what do you guys think??**_

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**Damon POV**

This was the second time I had helped a witch. Bonnie needed me to read the gibberish with her or the spell would not work...it took two privileged individuals to be able to do a spell that strong and have it work. The only reason I was able to do it was because of the spell that Emily cast over me made it so I had to protect her family and a part of protecting her family was ensuring that no one ever found out they were in fact witches.

The spell in itself lasted only a matter of seconds but it felt like a century. The pain of losing Katherine made it difficult to concentrate but I needed to in order to help Bonnie...and I had to help Bonnie—she had helped me, and Sheila had given her life to help me. The effort put forth to conduct the spell caused my emotion to run raw I could not keep the tears from spilling from my eyes. I could not look behind me to see Stefan or Elena's reaction but I could see the fear and sadness in Bonnie's face as she read the words in the book; I could feel; but not see both Stefan and Elana.

I was the only one who knew what would happen but I knew that the three of them were prepared to be banded together for the rest of history. I felt it before I said it—the spell worked and we were swept up in a whirlwind gust before the flash of light brighter than anyone could imagine flashed and then it was dark..and still...too still.

"Is it over?" Bonnie asked me as she set the book down.

I nodded my head. "What happened?" Stephen asked as he took a slow step forward towards Bonnie and I...to where Sheila had been placed initially.

"Try and hurt me Brother." I said taunting him.

"The four of us are bonded together now aren't we?" Elena asked as she moved towards Bonnie and took her hand. She is a quick one...it took me almost two decades to figure it out.

"The sun is coming up we need to get back in before someone sees us." I reminded them as I picked up the green journal and placed it gently in my pocket. In reality no one would see us there and even if they did it wouldn't matter, there was physically nothing we had left to hide.

**Elena POV**

The spell took a lot out of both Damon and Bonnie; they had been tired and stressed over what had happened in the last couple days and the spell just added to it. They both struggled to walk back to the boarding house even though it was the closest place to the bridge. Bonnie followed Stefan into the living room and sat down on the couch while he built a fire in the fire place.

Damon hung back like he wasn't part of the group and didn't fit in with us enough to feel welcomed. I looked over at Bonnie and then back at Damon and I heard Bonnie whisper. "Come sit...please." As she looked towards Damon.

He came in and sat down on the leather sofa across from Bonnie and I, and watched as Stefan built the fire. "Has anyone slept in the last forty-eight hours?" Stefan asked sitting down next to me.

He already knew the answer so no one answered him. "Bonnie there is a room upstairs if you want to go lay down." Stefan told her.

"Come on Bon I will show you." I said as I took her hand and led her up the stairs with Damon and Stefan left alone in the living room.

"Elena am I safe to stay here?" She asked me as she closed us into the room I showed her.

"Bonnie right now I don't know of anyplace safer." I said as I pulled out a pair of sweats from the dresser and passed them to her.

"How often do you stay here Elena Gilbert?" She asked with a smirk on her face.

"After Anna I didn't want to stay at home." I tried to rationalize.

"Oh...but do you actually stay in this room or do you stay with Stefan?" She asked pulling off her jeans and slipping into the sweats.

"I am rarely alone in this house...but it isn't always just with Stefan. When Stefan had to leave I stayed with Damon."

"What happened with you and Damon... a couple months ago you hated him and then you disappear for a weekend and come back friends? It is a little weird."

"Weird is an understatement. I said as I rolled my eyes and grabbed another pair of sweats out and pulled them on. "After Atlanta I dunno...Damon and I just..."

"Atlanta? Wait...what?" She asked confused...I hadn't told anyone other than Stefan about Atlanta.

"Well when the other vampire..."

"What?!?!"

"Can I tell my story?" I said smiling. It felt good to have girl talk again. "When the other vampire totaled my car Damon was there...he saved me and I'm kinda fuzzy on the details but I woke up in the front seat of his car on the way to Atlanta.

"Car accident Elena? When was that?"

"A few weeks ago... Stefan and I had a fight...I found a picture of Katherine and I.. well...she looks just like me and Stefan refused to explain and I got mad and left and I guess Damon was out hunting or something anyways he was close and anyway we ended up in Atlantic City where he had a friend I guess but she ended up not a friend and by the end of the weekend we had an understanding of one another."

"An understanding? Elena that is ridiculous you are totally leaving something out. Stefan had a girlfriend who looks exactly like you and...wait...Katherine? That is who Damon wanted out of the tomb..."

"Katherine is the vampire that turned them. She was suppose to be in the tomb with Pearl and all the other vampires but..."

"But she wasn't...and it...ohhh....Damon."

"Damon loved her. Stefan thought he did too but said that his feelings were because she had compelled them and it wasn't real. What Damon felt was real though...at least for him."

"And now Damon doesn't have anyone." Bonnie said as she stretched out the bed.

"Damon has us. Me, you and Stefan." I said "He needs us. For over 150 years he has loved Katherine and everything he has done has been because of her. Now he finds out that she never really cared..."

"All of us has lost someone... Damon and Stefan lost Katherine, and all of their family and friends, I lost Grams...and you lost your parents..."

"Adoptive parents." I blurted out.

"Adoptive?!? What the hell Elena!" She yelled at me, apparently it had been a while since I talked to her.

"I don't really know the whole story because Stefan wont tell me but basically someone came into town and they were really young and she had me and my parents they hadn't been able to get pregnant and so they took me and because Dad was a doctor it was easy..."

"Uh...wow." Bonnie said... "So much in such a short..."

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you Bonnie but it wasn't safe...I was trying to keep you out of all of this...trying to protect everyone."

"I love you Elena. You are my best friend...and the only other people who know about my secret are Stefan and Damon. I guess as much as I hate it we are bonded and Grams wish just made it so we were officially bonded." She said through a yawn.

"Bonnie you get some sleep... I will be somewhere within ear shot... feel free to wander the house when you wake up... the guys said I could read all the books and journals and everything so I am sure you can too...maybe there are answers for you in some of the journals."

"Thanks Elena." She said as she closed her eyes. I slowly walked out of the room and down the stairs. I paused halfway down when I heard Stefan.

"Damon are you going to be okay?" He asked.

"I always am aren't I?" He responded sarcastically.

"Why cant you just talk to me?" Stefan said, he sounded so sad, "we were best friends before Katherine and after all of this you cannot even look at me." He said so quietly I barely heard him.

"Stefan you are my little brother and I promised Mom before she died that I would protect you and I failed. Somehow I failed so horribly that you were turned into a vampire and lost the way of life I was suppose to protect."

"Damon for Christs sake you weren't even ten when mom died."

"Does it matter? I failed. I ruined my relationship with our father. I ruined my relationship with you. I have not been able to protect you..." He stopped his rant, "Elena you can stop ease dropping and come down... I am not going to talk to him like he wants me to."

"Why are boys so stubborn?" I asked climbing down the last few steps and sitting down on the couch between the two of them.

"It makes life more exciting." Damon spat out. He looked like he was going to pass out. All of the emotional drainage over the last forty-eight hours had paid its toll and he looked like shit.

"Stefan you should sleep." I said quietly to him as I laced my fingers within his.

"What about you?" He asked through sad eyes.

"I take care of my family Stefan Salvatore." I said smiling. "I will be up soon. I am all ready for bed at least...wait...when was the last time you hunted?" I asked as I remembered that neither one of them had anything since before we opened the tomb.

"Damon when was the last time you..." Stefan demanded.

"Relax Stefan I had a snack before the spell...I have a supply in the fridge in my room if you don't want to hunt your little fluffy bunny rabbits tonight." Damon said crossing his arms.

"Thanks Damon." He said as he rolled his eyes. "I will be in my room if you need me." He told me as he gave me a pleading look and left the room.

**Stefan POV**

He is so full of it. I don't know why he thinks he has to protect me all the damned time. He never gave a shit before, or at least it never seemed like it. Protecting me since I was a baby because our Mother made him promise? Was that why he was always there? Every time something went wrong he was always there...maybe it was because he was trying to protect me. But why?

Why can he talk to Elena and not to me? Why is he to scared to let me in? I know I had hurt him and let him down in the past but... he is my brother and I never stopped loving him.

I looked at Elena one last time before starting up the stairs. I knew she would be safe with him. Three weeks ago I wasn't sure. I still do not know all of what happened in Atlanta after Elena and I had our fight...Elena had a new car when she got back...it didn't smell the same but other than that it was identical; and somehow the two of them were different.

Damon did something on their trip...something to let her in...just a crack...and somehow Elena managed to get herself under his skin. I paused at the top of the stairs to listen to what she said to him; trying to find a way for myself to get in too.

"Why wont he just drop it? I haven't talked to him about anything of importance in over one hundred and forty five years. It is like just because of what happened in the last week he just expects me to be completely a different person." Damon said quietly. It hurt to hear that but it was true, Damon and I had not had a serious conversation since before he went off to war.

"He is worried about you." Elena answered... "Why can you talk to me so easily?"

"You think it is easy for me to talk to you? To trust you?" He whispered. "I can honestly say that this, this talking to you, crying with you, it is the hardest thing I have ever done...ever...its just...it isn't natural to me." He said thick with emotion.

"Does it help to talk to me?" She asked.

He didn't answer but I heard him choke on his breath. He was fighting back tears...I couldn't allow myself to intrude anymore. Elena could help him right now and that was what was important.

I walked slowly down the hall to my room, I stuck my head into the room Bonnie was in to check on her, to make sure she was still sleeping soundly. I didn't turn the light on in my room instead I went over to my desk and lit a small candle.

Katherine's photograph was sitting on my desk staring up at me. It hurt to look at it; when I first came back here Elena only reminded me of Katherine, the way she looked, the way she smelled, the way she composed herself...but the more time I spent with her I no longer see Katherine at all. Elena and Katherine are more opposite than any two people could be.

**Damon POV**

I don't know how she does it to me...it is like I cannot keep her out of my head. Since Atlanta...I tried to block her out to keep everything to myself but I just cant anymore...when I thought she was going to die...in the car accident something in me just snapped. I couldn't lose her too.

"Does it help to talk to me?" She asked...how the hell was I suppose to answer that? Of course it helped but it also hurt more than I ever imagined letting someone in could hurt.

I hated feeling vulnerable. I was a damned vampire and vampires are not suppose to be weak. That was exactly what I was though. I needed Elena more than she needed Stefan, more than she needed me. Rather than answer I leaned back into the couch and sighed...almost instantly she had her arm around me and I was drawn to her.

"Talk or just sit?" She asked me. That is what I liked about her so much...she didn't want to force me to talk...she just wanted me to know she was there when I was ready.

"Sit." I whispered. I was so exhausted after not sleeping, the spell, and all the emotional shit as a result of everything I couldn't handle anymore.

"You should sleep Damon." She told me gently.

"You should stop trying to take care of everyone and take care of yourself." I said as I looked directly into her eyes.

"When was the last time you slept?" She asked as she completely ignored my previous statement and leaned her head against my arm.

I felt the body heat radiating off of her and it warmed me. "For more than a couple hours at a time?" I responded.

"When was the last time you had a normal nights of sleep...or day of sleep...whatever?" She reiterated.

"One hundred and forty seven years ago." I answered.

"You haven't slept in one hundred and forty seven years? That is messed up Damon." She said as she sat up and crossed her arms over her chest. I immediately missed the warmth of her close to me.

"You asked." I said turning and looking at her.

"Why don't you sleep?"

"I can't."

"Lame answer Damon."

"I haven't felt safe in that long I guess." I answered shrugging my shoulders.

"The war and then Katherine?" I nodded an affirmative. "Do you feel safe now?"

"Sitting here with you?" This time she nodded. "Yeah."

**Elena POV**

"This is the first time in one hundred and forty seven years? Sitting with your brother's girlfriend..."

"I told you I was messed up." He said on the defensive.

"It is sad Damon. It makes me sad." I tried to explain to him.

"Dammit Elena; I don't want you to have pity on me!" He said as he quickly stood up and stalked up the stairs.

I followed behind him as he tried half heartily to shut me out of his room. He sat down on his bead with his knees drawn to his chest in a very defensive position. I sat down on his bed and stretched out laying down on his pillow.

"Elena what the hell do you think you are doing?" He asked me quietly.

"You said you wanted me to sit with you. You said it was the first time you felt safe in a really freaking long time so why are you all pissed off?" I asked him already knowing the answer. He was scared as hell and hated feeling vulnerable...well I wasn't about to let him shut me out again especially not if it was the first time he let someone in since...well...basically forever.

"You cant spend every night with me Elena so what good does this do?"

"Nor would I want to." I said sticking my tongue out at him.

"I don't get you." He said laying his head down on the pillow next to me. "But thank you."

"Damon will you promise me something?" He looked at me questioningly. "Damon promise me you will try to let Stefan and Bonnie in too." I said running my fingers through his hair. It was oddly intimate, not romantically intimate...I don't know how to explain...I just felt connected to him, protective of him.

He was lying next to me on the bed staring at the ceiling. "I will stay with you until you fall asleep." I told him.

"Falling asleep isn't the problem." He said as a tear slipped out of the corner of his eye and dropped on the pillow.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" I asked him.

"Elena I cannot and will not ask you to do that."

"Damon do you want me to stay with you?" I asked him again.

He nodded his head. "I am going to go tell Stefan I will be staying in here. I am also closing your blinds because there is no way I will be able to sleep with the sun up now." I said as I stood up.

When I got to the door I turned around, "You better be in here when I come back."

"I'm not going anywhere Elena." He said as he watched me walk out of his room.

**Stefan POV**

I could hear everything through the walls here...it was a trick I had learned years ago. My room was vented in a way that I could hear everything throughout the house but no one could hear things from my room...it was one of the reasons I chose it.

"Elena you can stay in there with him." I told her when she walked through my door.

"You sure it isn't too weird for you?" She asked me as she sat down on my lap. She saw the photograph of Katherine. "I hate her for doing this to you guys."

"I am fine Elena." I assured her. "It is Damon who is messed up...and more messed up than I always thought. I didn't know he hadn't slept in that long...I just always thought he slept when I was away or something I didn't know he didn't sleep at all."

"Stefan.." She started.

"I am fine." I said as I pulled her into me for a quick embrace. "Damon needs you right now. If you can be there for him now maybe he will let me in too maybe it will make us a family again." I said having a hard time hiding my emotion.

"Will you let me tuck you in at least so you stop staring at her picture and get some sleep. Bonnie will probably be up in a couple hours."

"Elena that is ridiculous." I told her.

She stuck her bottom lip out and made an incredibly ridiculous pouty face. I rolled my eyes at her, "Will you tell me a bedtime story too?"

"Just do it." She as she stood and crossed her arms.

I got up and walked over to my bed and crawled under the blankets. "Elena will everything be okay?" I asked her as I closed my eyes.

"We will get through everything together that much I can promise you." She told me as she kissed me slowly and softly. She then pulled the blanket up over my shoulder, whispered that she loved me, kissed me again and walked out of the room. "Sweet dreams Stefan."

Would things really be okay? Would anything ever be normal? Hell, Damon and I are vampires, Bonnie is a witch...Elena is the only one with the option for normal...but she doesn't really...she was born without that option...she just doesn't know the whole back story.

I heard Elena walk back into Damon's room and heard the blankets rustle as she climbed onto the bed. She didn't say anything and just went in and I assumed lay down on the bed next to Damon. Everything felt so familiar and yet this time it was totally different.

With Katherine she compelled us both to love her and do whatever she wanted. Elena is putting herself third to both me and Damon. She truly cares for us as people, she doesn't care we are vampires, she doesn't care that we were both in love, or thought we were in love with a psychotic bitch of a vampire. She only cares to make us happy. That we are safe, that we feel loved. It is absolutely amazing to me how selfless and makes me fall even more in love with her. I only hope that she is able to help Damon to truly know and understand what love actually is.

**Damon POV**

I felt her climb into bed as she laid down next to me. She didn't speak she didn't wrap me in a hug, she just climbed up and crawled under the blanket next to me and was there with me. For the first time in one hundred and forty seven years I closed my eyes feelings safe. For the first time in one hundred and forty seven years I fell asleep feeling safe.

When I woke up three hours later sweating and thrashing around feeling as though someone were trying to kill me she was there. She immediately wrapped her arms around me despite the danger to herself trying to wrestle a vampire. "Come back to me Damon. Right here, right now. Relax and breathe." I heard her whisper. It took me a minute to realize that what I was seeing was a nightmare and my reality was there with her.

"Breathe Damon." She said pulling me towards her. "You are safe here." I fell into her breathing in her scent and finally breathing. "Go back to sleep Damon. I'm not going anywhere." She told me.

I started to shake, my whole body was wracked with emotion. I curled myself onto and around her and held as tight as I could. "I'm not going anywhere." She whispered into my hear, "We will get through all of this together. I promise you Damon things will get easier."

It hurt, I saw myself laying in the trenches in the Civil War having to murder people who were trying to kill me. I didn't know these people and yet it was my order to destroy them. I had never shot a gun before the war. I saw myself crying as the rain pored down on my face washing away the tears and the blood. I was truly alone in the world for the first time.

The first chance I had I ran away. I ran home to Stefan. I needed to see him, my little brother, the picture of innocence. When I got home though he was no longer the young boy he was when I left. He had grown into a young man. A man who relied on our father. I left him so he sought comfort and reassurances from him. Things were different between us when I returned home. He no longer confided in me; perhaps it was because he had nothing to confide in, but it hurt.

Then Katherine came, I attached myself to her because she cared. She wanted to hear the horrors I went through, she wanted to be my great protector. She confided in me her greatest secret and I fell deeply in love with her because she was the only one I had to rely on. Watching her be taken away in the carriage was the lowest day of my life. I went to the bridge and jumped off. Only I forgot I had her blood in me; rather than ending my life I ensured that I would live on forever.

In all of my years I cannot pick out a single happy, joyous moment that has not been tainted by the events that unfolded.

She held me until I was able to calm down once again; I knew that Stefan was right outside my door as soon as he heard me thrashing around. I waited for him to come in; to tear Elena from me, to protect her from me, but he didn't. He sat outside of the door and I could hear him sob. I knew then that I needed to open myself up to them all, not just to Elena. I needed to trust.

I held onto Elena as tightly as I could until there were no tears left to cry. I held onto her long after I was able to regulate my breathing once again. She never asked what my nightmare had been about; not because she didn't want to know, but because she knew I would tell her when I was ready.

Eventually, with the help of her running her fingers through my hair and up and down my back I relaxed and fell back asleep.

**Elena POV**

He eventually fell back asleep with his body so closely attached to mine it felt almost as if we were one person. He clung to me much like a child clings to their mother. I held him and reassured him as much as I could. I did not know what his demons were but I knew he needed strength. He needed to get through these next few hours to prove to himself that he was strong enough and that he could do it.

Not long after Damon fell back asleep Stefan stuck his head in; I could tell he had been crying, something I had not seen him do either until today. I started to move to go hold him but he shook his head and pointed to Damon. Then he slowly walked towards me and kissed my forehead.

He reached his hand down and put it on Damon's shoulder, "I love you Damon. No matter what I never stopped loving you." He whispered before turning around and walking out of the room. I dozed off and on as I held Damon. I never did close the curtains so sleeping was nearly impossible for me. I watched the clock as it struck three pm. Damon had been asleep since eight that morning, seven hours. About six when you take out his nightmare.

Damon started to stir a few minutes later, much like he did the first time; moaning and calling out. "Damon...wake up Damon..." I whispered to him, "you are safe here. Nothing can hurt you here." I told him. He woke up but didn't loosen his grip on me.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked him at three-thirty after he had still not moved.

"Lay here like this forever." He mumbled. "Thank you Elena." He said as he rolled slightly so he only held my arm instead of my whole body.

"Are Stefan and Bonnie up?" I asked, most likely he could hear them if they were up and doing anything.

"The TV is on downstairs."

"Are you ready to get up yet?" I asked him as I rolled to face him.

"When I am ready will you let me tell you everything?" Damon asked me. "I mean I know it is a lot I don't want you to feel like you have to but I need to know."

"Can you stop talking so I can answer you?" I interrupted his rambling. "Damon we are family and we need to share things. You need to share what happened to you, Stefan needs to share what has happened to him, Bonnie needs to share what happened to her."

"You need to share what happened to you too Elena."

"Right...that...anyway..." I said in attempt to bring the subject back to him. "I am here whenever you are ready to talk."

"Can I talk to you tonight then?" He asked me as he sat up. I nodded my head, "Elena please don't tell them how much of a pussy I have been."

"Dammit Damon stop putting yourself down for being human. Stefan came in here after you fell back asleep. He was outside the door crying when you were. It hurts him to see you like this. He didn't know you were dealing with all of the shit you are dealing with." I told him as I swung my legs out of the bed and stood in front of him with my arms crossed.

"He came in here after I was asleep?" More of a statement than a question. "He told me that he loved me."

"He does love you Damon."

"Can we go do something normal today?" He said throwing a sweatshirt at me. "It is going to be cold down there...Stefan hasn't built a fire yet." He said walking out the door.

**Stefan POV**

"Lets do something normal today." Damon said as he bounced into the living room followed by Elena in one of Damon's old sweaters.

It was like he was a totally different person. The dark circles under his eyes were gone, the glimmer was back in his eyes. He looked like the brother I lost when I was twelve years old.

"What did you have in mind?" Bonnie asked him as she looked away from the TV that she wasnt actually watching.

"We should go on a trip." Was his answer.

"Have you completely lost your mind Damon?" Elena asked him.

"What? You had fun in Atlanta didn't you?" He gloated.

"You want to go to Atlanta?" Bonnie asked confused. "I thought a vampire tried to kill you there...why would you want to go back?"

"A vampire tried to kill you? You had Elena there?" I yelled. Once again Damon not caring about human life.

"Relax Stefan he wasn't after her he was after me because of Lexi. Elena saved me." He said smiling. So that was what happened...that was the crack. "Anyways...today is Friday and as the three of you are juvenile delinquents and skipping school anyway I say we make the weekend worth it and we go on a trip."

"I could use a break from Mystic Falls." Bonnie said quietly.

"A vacation it is then! Where should we go?"

"I say we should go to Washington DC." I said. I didn't think anyone would agree but it was the closest place I could think of that didn't remind me of Katherine and all of the misery since.

"Ladies?" Damon asked. Elena and Bonnie both nodded. "DC it is."

"I will go throw some stuff together upstairs and then I can take you both home to pack and we can meet back here at five to start the drive?" I suggested.

"Wouldn't it be faster if one of you took me and the other took Bonnie?" Elena asked.

"Sure ya...whatever...I am going upstairs to pack." I said as I climbed the stairs.

"Your boyfriend needs a hug I think Elena." I heard Damon say as I entered my room.

"Don't be a butt Damon." She refuted.

"A butt? Did you really just call me a butt?" He said as the three of them started to laugh.

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_**Comments...I need comments...what do you guys think?? Should I continue? End it? Do you like it hate it? What??? :) I need comments!  
**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Damon POV**

Girls take forever... it took Stefan and I about five minutes to pack...the girls though...they couldn't do anything quickly. We finally left Mystic Falls at eight o'clock that night. The three hour drive from home to DC was fairly quiet. I had been hoping that the three of them would let loose and I would be able to feed off of their energy but instead Bonnie and Elena sat in the back seat and spent the whole trip writing notes to one another. Stefan of course was no help, I do not think he looked inside the car the entire way.

"Five more minutes and we will be there." I told them once we came into view of the Washington Monument.

"Where are we staying?" Bonnie asked...the first thing said the entire drive.

"I was thinking the Hay Adams...I hear they have pretty nice rooms and it is close to everything." I answered.

"Inst that where the President stayed?"

"Yeah...it is like a big deal and people have to make reservations months in advance." Bonnie answered.

"Damon?" Elena droned.

"Well don't you guys want to stay somewhere nice?" I said turning around and smiling at Elena.

"Well I guess if you are going to be friends with vampires you may as well enjoy the perks." Bonnie said as she stretched and sat up in the seat.

"Damon how are you going to get enough rooms for all of us?" Stefan asked me.

"Come on Little Brother you don't honestly think we need a billion rooms do we? We just need one." I answered.

"Uh we cant all fit in one bed." Bonnie replied sarcastically.

"Really that is what you are going to get hung up on? How much time are you going to be spending in the room? We only have a couple days here and I doubt any of you have even seen any of the stuff here."

"Okay well we need a room with at least two beds then." Elena answered.

"Well, I was thinking the Presidential Suite but if you guys want two smaller rooms...."

"How many beds are in the suite?" Elena asked me.

"Just one but there are two couches and the place is big enough I am sure we can get a few cots in them too."

"Damon why don't we just get a regular room...they all have couches don't they."

"Fine, fine...be party poopers. The lowest I will go is a junior suite." He said as he pulled his car into the garage.

"Stefan you babysit while I go arrange our room and then we can go explore and find something to eat..."

"Oh No I am not watching you eat!" Bonnie exclaimed.

"I didn't mean that silly witch...I brought some of that in the cooler in the trunk...and I was going to stop by the Red Cross building or maybe the Hospital tomorrow to add to my supply."

"Gross Damon...just hurry up." She told me with a roll of her eyes.

**Elena POV**

For the first time in my life I am out of Mystic Falls... I mean... I have been out of the town to go to the city to shop and stuff but it was always either with parents or something never totally on my own. I think it is the first time for Bonnie too. And then to be in DC. The Nations Capital! It was so exciting and I couldn't even imagine all the information that Stefan and Damon would know about everything having lived through most of the nations history.

"Where did you girls want to go while we are here?" Stefan asked as soon as Damon entered the hotel.

"Well it is like midnight...there isn't anything open now is there?" I asked.

"Well no, not technically but we..." Stefan started.

"Taking a lesson from Damon now are we Stefan?" Bonnie said teased.

"I just through you ladies would like a midnight showing of some of the monuments thats all." He tried to explain.

"Stefan you need to lighten up and have fun. Give Damon a chance. Act like a teenager and have fun with us." I begged.

"Elena you know it is hard for me." He said as he stepped towards me.

"Stefan... please for me just try. He will let you in when he is ready and I think this trip may help him. I don't think it is easy for any of us to just relax and open but we don't have secrets. Not anymore and we are bonded together whether or not we like it so we need to make this work." I said leaning against the car.

"Rooms all set." Damon said with a grin practically ear to ear. "What should we see first? The Smithsonian? Monuments? A bar?"

"I am pretty sure we don't need a bar at midnight. Why don't we start at the mall and show Elena and Bonnie all of the monuments while there is no one there?" Stefan suggested.

"Can we go to Arlington?" Bonnie asked.

"The Little Witch hasn't had enough of cemeteries? I am not going there." Damon growled.

Oh...the Civil War...hmm maybe by the end of the weekend...I kinda wanted to see that too. "Why don't we start with the Washington Monument? Can we really go in it at night?"

"Doll we can do whatever you'd like." Damon said as he hooked his arm through mine and Stefan's. I quickly grabbed Bonnie's hand and we were off.

As we walked past the White House Damon kept commenting on how things were so different now than the last time he had been there. I wanted to ask when that was but knew if he was willing to share he would just come out and say it. There was no point in pushing and making him grumpy.

Apparently Bonnie had the same question and didn't think about his past before she asked, "Damon when was the last time you were here?"

"1865." He answered as he dropped Stefan and my arms. So much for a fun evening.

"Stefan have you ever been to DC before?" Bonnie asked him as she realized Damon's immediate change in mood.

"Yeah. Not too long ago actually. I met Lexie and a few others here in 1990."

"Not too long ago? I wasn't even alive yet then." She responded.

"I keep forgetting...time just isnt something I usually keep track of I guess."

"What is your favorite thing about DC?" She asked him again.

"I love the air and space museum." He answered as we walked through the grass towards the Washington Monument.

"This thing was only half done when I was here. Everything was just fields and regular houses. A few slave pins but nothing at all like it is now." Damon said quietly.

I took his hand in mine again and squeezed it quickly before I let go. I wanted him to know that I did care and that I loved that he was talking about his past, even if it was not of specific importance...it was something.

**Stefan's POV**

Getting up into the monument was easy. They only had one guard and a lock that a five year old could pick if he wanted. "Stairs or elevator?" I asked as we walked in.

"Elevator. Stairs take too long." Bonnie said.

"Elevator it is." I said was we walked through the doors.

I watched as Elena, Bonnie and Damon looked from one to the next. "Why is it so hard for us to sustain a conversation?" I asked as we stepped out of the elevator onto the observation deck.

Damon and Bonnie just shrugged their shoulders and Elena just looked at me. Our relationship had changed, or maybe it has always been this way and it just took me that long to realize it. I pointed out the different monuments and memorials and other significant places out the observation windows and then we went back down in silence.

I led them to the Lincoln Memorial where we sat on the steps, "We can't talk because we don't really know each other. We are all from different places, we grew up in different times with different experiences and we are scared to talk about things because it hurts just a little bit too much." Elena said as she stared up in the sky.

"It is hard for me to get close to anyone because I have always let down the people who love me." Damon whispered.

"When my parents died my world was shattered. I still have a hard time making it through the day sometimes and then Jeremy...I need to help him, he is my little brother...but I don't know how to talk to him." Elena said as she leaned back on her elbows against the steps.

"Grams was always the one I could talk to. She was the only one who knew I was different and the one who taught me what it meant to be special and with her gone...it just hurts." Bonnie said as a tear slid down her cheek.

Damon reached over his thumb and wiped the tear from her eyes. "I am sorry Bonnie I needed to get Katherine back so bad I didn't care who I hurt to do it...and she wasn't even in there so it was all for nothing."

"I have always blamed myself for what happened to you Damon. Everything, this whole mess it started with me. It is my fault our mom died, it is my fault Katherine got caught, it is all my fault."

"Well aren't we a happy bunch." Damon said as he bumped his shoulder into mine. "Can we get back to the motel before the sun comes up?" He asked.

"On the way back can we play a game we used to play when we were little?" Elena asked.

"The magic game?" Bonnie asked getting excited.

"Thats the one." She said smiling.

"What the hell is the magic game?" Damon asked.

"No grumpy Damon...this game is very serious...and fun!" Bonnie said as she hopped up.

"Color?" Elena said. A second later she said, "Teal."

"Green." Bonnie answered.

They both looked at Damon and I, "Hello? Color?" they said at the same time.

"Blue." Damon answered.

"Black." I answered.

"Place." Bonnie said. "Swings."

"Woods." Elena.

"The roof." Damon.

"The house." Me.

"Song?" Damon asked, "Sugar Ray."

"Every Avenue." Bonnie answered.

"Howie Day." Elena.

"Blake Shelton." I answered.

"Memory." Elena asked. "3rd grade."

"1994." Damon answered.

"The car wash." I answered.

"Slumber parties." Bonnie answered.

We continued the game back to the hotel. When we got into the room I noticed that Damon had convinced someone to put two roll-away beds in the living room. The bedroom was behind bay windows looking out at the White House.

"Girls get the bed. Me and you are on the cots Little Brother." Damon told me throwing off his coat onto the couch.

"Damon this room is amazing you could totally see into the white house from here." Bonnie said looking out the window.

"We should sleep for a few hours at least before we go check out all the museums." Elena said grabbing her bag from the floor and pulling out her pajamas.

Elena and Bonnie went into the bathroom together to change, I expected to hear their gossip but Elena turned the water on. It drove me nuts; I couldn't help but pace around the hotel room.

"Sit the freak down Stefan. They aren't going anywhere. You should have learned by now that girls are really all freaks and cannot do anything by themselves so they are just peeing and changing together in there." Damon said as he pulled off his shirt and slipped out of his jeans and into gym shorts.

"How is your changing right here any different than what they are doing in there?" I asked him while I did the same thing.

***Bonnie POV***

"Elena are we really staying in a hotel room with two vampires in DC?" I asked as she closed the bathroom door behind her.

She turned the water on and started to get ready for bed, "They need help as much as we do. I am really worried about Damon...I don't think he is going to sleep at all tonight."

"He may be a vampire but they are both really sweet guys." I told her. "Is there anything I can do to help you to fix them?"

"I am not trying to fix them Bonnie. They are fixing me just as much as I am fixing them. Its messed up I know but I love both of them. And the really messed up part is that I feel as protective of Damon as I do of Jeremy."

"Elena do you think that the four of us will just magically be friends by the end of this weekend?" I asked her as I changed from my jeans to my pajamas and started to brush my teeth.

"Well you and I are already friends and I am obviously friends with Stefan, and I am kinda friends with Damon...so..."

"So this weekend is to make me be friends with the two of them, to make Damon and Stefan friends again and to make Damon friends with everyone?" I asked.

"Why does this feel like some sort of fairy tale?"

"Uh...cuz there are vampires, witches, traveling to new places and love triangles." I answered her.

"Do you think we have tortured them long enough? I can hear Stefan pacing out there." Elena asked as she shut the water off.

I climbed into the bed and laid down. I watched and listened as Elena sat between Damon and Stefan. "Damon are you okay to sleep tonight?" Stefan asked him.

"I was hoping you would just forget about that..." He answered as he looked down at his hands.

"Elena would you..." Stefan started to ask Elena.

"Hey Bonnie, can we all sleep on the bed tonight?" Elena asked me.

"Wait...no...Elena that isn't what I wanted." Damon said staring at her. If I didn't know better I would say he was trying to compel her but I knew that he would never do that to her.

"You know I love slumber parties." I said scooting over to the side of the bed.

"Darn it Elena you don't have to do this." Damon said practically begging. It made me wonder how bad it actually was for him and my heart hurt.

"Damon I want you to lay between Elena and I." I said quietly. I saw Stefan smile at me, a silent thank you.

The three of them came over and climbed under the blankets. It was a king size bed, but we could have easily fit on a twin. We held onto each other, laying close to each other and seeking comfort from one another.

Stefan fell asleep first, with his arm around Elena and his hand on Damon's shoulder. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Damon was on his back and I was curled around next to him and he had his arm around my shoulders, my head resting on his arm. When I closed my eyes Elena and Damon were staring at each other silently speaking to each other.

Damon was so scared of sleep, of his dreams—his nightmares, his history. I could feel the fear radiating off of him. "Close your eyes Damon. We are right here. We aren't going to go anywhere." She whispered to him.

"Take a deep breathe and relax." She told him.

"I can't Elena. The same damn thing will happen again." He said so quietly I barely heard him.

"If it does we are here Damon. We are here to bring you back." She told him. I felt him shift so that he was now leaning into Elena. She had been correct in saying her relationship with Damon was like it was with her and Jeremy.

She is like the mother figure. A protector. To an outsider the four of us in bed together probably looked like some sick twisted teenage sex act, but it wasn't that at all. I rolled over so that Damon could roll to be as close to Elena as he wanted and I wrapped my arm around him from behind and held him.

He squeezed my arm, I had given myself away, "Why do the two of you care if I sleep tonight or not. I would be just as happy sitting in the window and watching the sunrise."

"I am not sleeping until you do Damon Salvatore." I whispered into his back. When Elena and I ganged up we always got our way.

Elena sat her hand on the side of his face and began to slide her thumb across his eye brows. It took mere seconds before he had fallen asleep. "Thanks Bonnie. But he is right...the same thing will probably happen tonight." She told me.

"What happened last night?" I asked her.

"You will see Bonnie, inside he is like we were when we were babies...only we had our parents to protect us..." She halfway explained.

A few minutes later right as I was starting to doze off Damon started to thrash around. Elena gently tightened her grip on him and whispered, "Come back...it is safe here..." It absolutely broke my heart.

Stefan woke up and took his arm off Elena so that she could focus fully on Damon. He began to cry out, instead of calling out for Katherine like I assumed he would he was cried out for his mother. Stefan's eyes popped open in shock and before I could blink my eyes he was out sitting on the balcony with his hands covering his eyes.

I looked at Elena and she nodded at me. I got up and followed Stefan while she held Damon. I sat down quietly next to him on the deck and leaned into his shoulder. "I was two when our mom died. Or...I think I was two. No one would ever talk about her to me. I guess after I was born she never was quite right. I think she got sick when I was born and just never came back from it."

"Damon was there. Have you ever tried to ask him about it?" I asked gently.

"I did once...right before he left for the war. He said that she died and how she died didn't matter."

"Stefan do you think Elena can help Damon?"

"If she cant I don't think anyone can. Elena is like..."

"Stefan you need her too."

"Damon needs her more. He has needed someone to love him since I was even born."

I heard Damon cry out in agony and wanted to run in there, our heads both jerked around to see what happened and Damon has bolted upright and Elena climbed on top of him and wrapped her arms around him and he cried out in pain. He was awake, as in no longer dreaming but he wasn't the full awake Damon that is the smart ass I had come to know; he was stuck somewhere in the middle and he needed to find his way back.

"What is it like for you?" I asked him.

"What? Being in love with her? Being a vampire? Having a brother so broken?" Having hurt everyone I ever got close to?" He answered.

"Stefan you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and totally realize all the things that are good."

"I try...it is just hard with all the craziness these last few weeks...like before I came back to Mystic Falls things seemed better, happier...they weren't but things were just easier somehow."

"Did you like it better?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Elena." He said with a shrug of his shoulders. "I would give my life for her. She just...I dunno she just gets it somehow." He tried to explain. I didn't need an explanation though, I had known Elena since we were in diapers practically and knew what a great person she was.

**Damon POV**

I was there again, in her bedroom. Dad was out at the bar again, the maid with Stefan and I was with her. I held her hand as she took her last breath. It should have been our Father with her instead of me, he should have protected me, instead he blamed me. I had let her in. I didn't understand then...I do now. I let her in. She didn't kill our Mom, but all of the visits...it was too much on her after she just gave birth to Stefan. I didn't see the signs then...

"Damon you are safe here....come back to me..." I heard her sweet and pure voice calling me...another nightmare. Bonnie wrapped her arm tighter around me but it didn't help, I couldn't do it...I called for her, for our Mother...I knew it wouldn't do any good but I felt like I had to. I didn't have my eyes open but I felt the breeze as Stefan ran out of the room.

I clung to Elena, she was my safe place, she didn't know what she was saving me from but she knew I needed to be saved. Bonnie followed Stefan out and I snapped. I needed my Mother...I needed to get to her...

"Come back here...Its safe here..." I heard her, the next thing I knew I was upright and she was on top of me with her arms wrapped around me. I collapsed against her and she slowly laid me back down on the bed.

"Damon look at me." She said as she put her face centimeters from mine...I didn't have a choice but to look at her.

"What happened with your Mom?" She asked me.

"The vampire that turned Katherine. It was too much for our Mom to be her regular." I whispered. "Stefan doesn't know."

"You were with her when she died." She said...it was more of a statement than a question. I nodded my head. "She knew what she...and she made you promise to protect Stefan but then you had to leave for the war..."

"I came home as soon as I could but it was too late. Katherine had come to town the week before I got home...Stefan was so in love with her. Our Father was obsessed with vampire hunting...he didn't see that Katherine was a..."

"You wanted to get rid of her but instead you fell in love."

"Its totally fucked up right?" I said at an attempt at a smile.

"I think I can understand the concept of falling for a vampire." She said with a smile.

"How can you be so calm?" I asked her.

"Damon can you not hear how fast my heart starts beating whenever..."

"I don't mean like that Elena...I mean like with our history...it is like not a big deal to you...like it is normal or something."

"Well I guess I just accept it...and it is totally not normal for my boyfriend and one of my best friends to be over 150 years old..now are you going to go back to sleep?" She asked me as she laid back down.

"Elena when are you just going to give it up?" I asked her as I leaned back against the head board.

"Two nights after you sleep all night. Now tell Stefan and Bonnie to come back inside and go back to sleep." She said through a yawn.

**Elena POV**

We all slept another two hours before Bonnie and I got up. Bonnie sat on the floor of the bathroom while I showered, "Is it safe to talk while one of us is in the shower?" She asked.

"Yah...they cant hear over the water." I answered.

"What happened that Damon is so messed up?"

"Pretty much everything."

"Details Elena?"

"Their mom was killed, their dad blamed Damon. Damon had to fight in the Civil War. He left as soon as he could to come home for Stefan but Katherine was already there. Then all the stuff with Katherine...then like 150 years of him trying to get her back."

"Where does he go when he has his nightmares?" She asked me.

"His past."

"When I have my nightmares they are visions of the future. Are his anything like that?"

"I don't think so I think for him it is like a replay of his memories."

"Do you think he will ever be able to sleep through the night? Stefan gets real freaked out when he flips like he did...I think Damon hid it from him all these years."

"I know Damon hid it from him and I hope it gets better but I dunno...this is like the first time ever he has tried to trust someone."

"I thought he trusted Katherine..."

"Yah...and look how well that turned out."

"Do you think he will ever trust me or Stefan like he trusts you?" She asked me as I climbed out of the shower; I left the water on for Bonnie to get in, and so we could continue our conversation.

"In time he might. You are the one who can tell the future Bonnie."

"What is it like to have sex with a vampire?" She asked me as she stepped into the shower. I about choked; did she really just ask me about my sex life?

"Physically it isnt any different than sex with a human but the emotional connection I have with Stefan...that makes all the difference."

"Do you think I will ever have anything like that?"

"A vampire?" I asked confused.

"Yeah...well...I don't know...it just seems like the four of us are suppose to be a family...so..."

"So you are meant to be with Damon?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Did you see that happening?" I asked her curious.

"Well I saw us transform them and then separately I saw us at a park with little kids...it was weird Elena...like somehow we both had kids but Damon said that vampires cant procreate so that means they weren't vampires anymore."

"Is there a way to transform them back into who they were before?" I asked her as she got out of the shower. She had turned the water off so I had to whisper.

She nodded her head as she pulled up a clean pair of jeans. Once we were dressed we went out and together jumped onto the bed. "Time to explore boys." We said at the same time.

**Stefan POV**

She is beautiful. I cannot even believe how fast I fell for her. The way that she just rolls with the punches and doesn't judge things until she can understand them and even then she just goes with it. What is even more amazing to me is how she is with Damon.

As much as I have put him down, as much as I have warned her about him; she has proven nearly everything I said and thought about him to be false...or at least distorted. Thanks to her I am now able to spend time with Damon and enjoy it and maybe eventually with her help we will have the type of relationship brothers are suppose to have.

"Where do you want to go first?" I asked as I sat up and threw on a clean shirt. Damon jumped in the shower and was out again before Elena and Bonnie even decided where they wanted to go.

"American History museum." Elena answered.

"Blah blah boring history it is." Damon said as he walked out of the bathroom wearing only a towel...which he promtly dropped.

"Damon put some freaking clothes on." Bonnie said as she threw his jeans at him.

"Oh come on now ladies you know you enjoy it." was his resonse.

I rolled my eyes as I walked with the girls to the door. "Breakfast first?" I asked.

"There is a Starbucks on the corner." Damon said when he caught up to us.

"Is it weird how much everything has changed since...." Elena asked after we ordered.

"Weird no...it was a fairly gradual change not like we went in a time machine from the 1800's to now." Damon quipped.

"Do you ever wish that you would have died back then like you should have?" Bonnie asked.

"Everyday." Damon said as he picked up his coffee off the counter. Before anyone could say anything Elena grabbed her order and followed Damon outside.

"Should we go out there or give them space?" Bonnie asked me once our orders were ready.

"I have no idea anymore." I said quietly as I leaned into the wall. I saw Elena nod us out and so Bonnie and I slowly walked out to join them.

"Well...now that I am done having a pity party as Elena so nicely put it lets go relive all of our memories in the wonderful museum."

"Grow up Damon. Tomorrow we can do whatever you want." Elena told him as she crossed her arms.

"Anything?" He asked with a glint in his eye.

"Anything within reason you ass." Bonnie said as she took his hand in hers and pulled him forward down the road towards the museum.


	5. Chapter 5

**Damon POV**

Thankfully we were only in the museum of American History for three long hours before moving on to the Natural History museum...then to the air and space museum which I have to say is the only one really worth going to.

Elena and Bonnie had some sort of system where they were able to communicate both silently and without any physical cues. I spent the entire time in the museum trying to decipher how they did it. Somehow Elena knew what exhibits within the museums got to me and each time she would be within inches of me having changed places with Bonnie.

It scared me; could she really read me so well that she knew what would get to me before I even knew? No one had ever even tried to get to know the real me...not really at least. Stefan had tried to copy everything I did when we were boys but since...well...since Katherine he gave up in knowing me. Elena knew exactly each time...it is like her Spidey Sense is to know when my stress level goes up even slightly...she knew.

Perhaps it was as simple as Elena understanding the simple things I had told her about my life and putting that together with what we were seeing...perhaps not...I couldn't figure it out.

Stefan kept going off about how he remembered this or how he remembered that...but it was all superficial. There was as much emotion behind seeing the puppet Kermit the Frog as he showed when we walked through the military exhibits. He was, and probably always will be too innocent to understand.

I have in some way participated in eight American Wars. Only the Civil War was I still a human. The rest were ways of an escape...to reload, re-contemplate and to come up with my next plan of action. Wartime was an easy time for me to feed, blood so readily available for me to drink.

The downside to that was actually participating in a war. Much to popular belief I did not and still do not enjoy killing people, I do not enjoy harming people; I do it to stay alive, to get to her...and as backwards as that may seem it always just seemed like the right thing to do.

I felt Elena come up behind me again; she hooked her arm within mine and pulled me to the side as Stefan and Bonnie walked ahead a few steps. Elena pushed me to a bench and told me to sit. "One to ten how hard was today?" She asked me.

What the hell... always the public locations expecting me to break and somehow she is always able to get the answers out of me. It is almost like she is compelling me...which I know is impossible. "Six...well it depends on what you idiots are forcing me to look at." I said as I stared into her eyes.

"To re-live?" She asked; I nodded. "Here is okay though?" She asked referring to the space exhibit we were currently sitting in.

"Elena what does it matter?" I said looking away from her and up at the space shuttle.

"It matters Damon." She told me as she pressed her forehead into mine drawing my eyes back into hers.

"Tomorrow we do what I want?" I asked her.

"Within reason." She answered cautiously.

"There are three things I want to do. One of them though I don't want a crowd." I confided.

"Just me and you?" She asked without the need for an answer she continued, "We can do it in the morning when Bonnie and Stefan go to the Library of Congress...they can look for the witch stuff while we..."

"It isn't going to be easy for me Elena." I whispered.

**Elena POV**

"What is it you want to do Damon?" I asked him.

"Not here." He answered as he pressed his hands into his eyes and then dragged his fingers through his hair.

"Let's go catch up to the others." I said as I took his hand and pulled him up.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders; he held me instead of me holding him. Boys and their macho kicks....

"I'm hungry." Bonnie said when we caught up to them.

"Are we finally done with the museums for today then?" Damon asked as he took his arm off me and nudged me towards Stefan.

"Lets get dinner and then Damon and I can go and... and we can meet you girls back at the hotel." Stefan said with a kiss to my forehead.

"I heard people talking about this place called Five Guys...they said they had burgers to die for." I told Bonnie.

"Five Guys it is!" Damon said as he swung his arm around Bonnie's waist.

The rest of the evening was farely typical...for any outsiders it looked like we were just a group of young adults who were on vacation. Which it had actually started to feel like.

Once we were back in the hotel and changed into PJ's Stefan asked, "So Damon, What is on the schedule for tomorrow?"

"I want to watch the sun rise from Mt Vernon." He answered.

"Is Mt. Vernon open that early?" Bonnie asked.

"Silly Witch...things are open whenever we want them to be."

I rolled my eyes, "What else tomorrow?"

"After Mt Vernon I want to go to Gettysburg...I think we should actually stay there tomorrow night." He answered.

"We still need to go to the library to look for..."

"I said stay there tomorrow night...not for the rest of the time...it is just that...well...I need to do something while I am there...and...well..." He stumbled on his words and I could see his eyes dart back and forth between the three of us.

"Gettysburg has a lot of history... I am sure we can come up with plenty to do there for the night." I said with a look passed to Bonnie who in turn elbowed Stefan.

"Gettysburg for the night it is." Stefan said as he leaned into the couch.

"Part of the time in Gettysburg I..." Damon started with a scared look to me.

"Grams went to school at George Washington University... I am sure Stefan and I can find something to do there Damon." She said as she placed her arm around Damon. I could see him tense up at her touch and know that she felt it but she did not move. She had decided to push Damon until he let her in as well...and personally I thought it was awesome.

**Bonnie POV**

After holding hands and linking arms off and on all day I tried to push my luck. I saw the look he gave Elena when he spoke about Gettysburg...I slowly put my arm around his shoulders and scooted closer to him. His body immediately tensed up and did not relax.

"Should we go to bed since we are getting up in just a couple hours to go watch the sunrise?" I asked.

"I'm not going to bed." Damon answered as he stood up and walked slowly out to the deck where he leaned onto his elbows.

"Damon and I still need to make a quick visit to the hospital." Stefan said quietly, he was embarrassed he even had to go.

"Can you guys just...um...couldn't you just drink some of ours?" I asked looking between Stefan and Elena.

"No. Absolutely freaking not." Stefan said with a glare.

"Do you guys want to go do that and then come back here? Bonnie and I can have some girl talk while you guys are gone." Elena said as she stood up.

I watched her walk out and put her arm around Damon. He instantly relaxed at her touch. "Go with Stefan to the hospital and then we can go somewhere to talk before we go to bed." I heard her tell him. He nodded and walked back into our room.

"Come on Brother." He said as he walked past Stefan and I on the couch. Stefan looked at Elena and shrugged his shoulders.

"Bring him back here." Elena told Stefan as he walked out the door.

Once the door was closed I turned to Elena. "What the heck is going on?"

"Damon was in Civil War." She told me.

"Gettysburg?" I asked still not quite understanding why Damon was acting weird again.

"He wants to go somewhere there just me and him."

"Why did he agree to come on this trip if he knew it was going to be so hard for him?" I asked her.

"I don't think he knew it would be this hard." She told me.

"Do you think he will ever let me in?" I asked.

"The first time I tried to hug him he ran across the room. I would say this is progress." She told me with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Do you and Stefan need alone time?" I asked...they were boyfriend and girlfriend and had not been alone together for more than like two minutes this entire trip.

"We aren't exactly normal boyfriend and girlfriend Bonnie...He asked me to help Damon..." She said as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"You need to deal too you know. You cant always take care of everyone." I tried to explain to her.

"I just hate seeing people I love in so much pain." She told me.

"I love you Elena." I said as I snuggled into her. We spent the next couple hours staring blankly into the TV.

**Stefan POV**

"Hospital or Red Cross building?" I asked Damon once we were outside of the hotel.

"Which is closer?" He asked.

"Red Cross."

"Go there then...I just feel done..." He said exhausted.

"Damon how have you gone so long without sleeping all these years?"

"Stefan do you really want to get into this now?" He asked me as he climbed through the window of the building. He opened the freezer and grabbed a handful of blood bags and tossed some more to me.

"Bottoms up." I said as we drank the bags of blood.

"Do you care that I am spending so much time with Elena?" He asked me when we were outside the hotel.

"Damon she is like the only person you have ever trusted and I truly hope that by trusting her enough to start to deal with whatever the hell you are dealing with you will eventually let me back in. You are my big brother and I don't know what the fuck you have been through in the last 150 years and that is just wrong."

"Do you really want to know everything Brother?"

"I want my brother back."

"Will you give me time?"

"You have had 150 years Damon..."

"And until this week you never asked."

"I'm sorry Damon... for everything...I'm sorry."

Just give me time okay?" He practically begged as he pushed the door to the hotel open.

I followed him up to our room where we found the girls leaning into each other on the couch. "Well well... I hope I didn't miss any of the fun stuff." Damon said sarcastically with a plop onto the couch across from the girls.

"It is almost nine." Bonnie said quietly as she looked at the clock on the wall.

"What time is the sunrise?" Elena asked.

"We need to leave here by 430 to get there in time." Damon answered.

"I am going to go shower then crash I think." I said as I stood up and went over to dig through my bag. I knew Damon needed to escape.

"Bonnie you okay to stay here with Stefan?" Elena asked her as she sat up.

"Yeah I am fine Elena... Stefan and I can hold down the fort tonight." She smiled at Elena.

"You guys will be back before it is time to leave?" I asked Damon.

"Don't give us a time frame Stefan. I will have my phone if you need us." Elena told me as she gave me a quick hug before she turned around and followed Damon out the door.

**Damon POV**

"I don't know if I am ready for this yet." I told her as we walked side by side across the National Mall.

"Where are we heading?" She asked me as we got in a cab.

"Arlington." I told the cab driver.

Elena looked at me questioningly but didn't say anything. She leaned back into the seat, closed her eyes and gently placed her hand on top of mine. I got the strength from her, the compassion she expressed with me was unconditional. She didn't care that we were going to a cemetery in the middle of the night...hell she had helped Stefan dig up our father. All she seemed to care about was whether or not I was okay...or at least going to be okay.

Once we arrived at the cemetery I walked through the gates, Elena followed me about two steps behind. I walked up the path to the Arlington house and sat down on the front steps. I was surprised that there was no security around the cemetery but figured that all the security was around the Unknown Tomb.

"The last time I was right before I went back home."

"Was it a cemetery then?" She asked me.

"No...I mean...it was in the process of becoming a cemetery so I guess it kinda was but not at all like it is now."

"Why did you want to come here?"

"It is peaceful. I came here to think." I tried to explain.

"How many people did you kill in the war?"

"Twenty-seven."

"And you were only nineteen?"

"Yes." I answered. Instead of asking me another question she scooted closer to me and wiggled her way so that my arm was around her shoulders. "I didn't know how I could go back home a killer. The war was not over...I left Gettysburg at the end of the second day. I couldn't do it anymore...not when I could see their faces...it was too close. It took too long for them to die unless you hit them just right so all you could hear were the screams in agony." I whispered.

"What did you expect to find when you got home?" She asked me.

"I don't know...I knew our father would be disappointed in me...he always was. I just hoped it wasn't too late...I needed to protect Stefan...he could never see the things I saw...his birthday... they were going to make him go..."

"But he never had to go Damon. He never saw the things you did."

"When I sleep I can still see them, hear their screams...everyone I ever killed...everyone I ever saw dying." I said as a tear rolled down my cheek and dropped onto the top of her head. I know she felt it but she didn't move, she didn't look up. "I don't know how to get past everything...to be normal."

"What is normal?" She asked looking me straight in the eye. I just shrugged my shoulders. "You can look at anyone walking along the street and say oh I bet they have a normal life...well they are probably looking right back at us saying the same thing."

"Do you ever think about your parents?" I asked her.

"Everyday." She answered as tears filled her eyes.

"Dammit Elena I didn't mean to make you upset." I said as I picked her up and held her in my lap.

"Damon I love my parents, I miss them everyday but my life has to go on. It sure as hell isn't easy and when it first happened I tried to shut everyone out but Bonnie and Caroline kept coming around and eventually it got easier."

"So you think when I let you in it will get easier for me?"

"Well you haven't slept in 150 years and last night you slept the entire night only waking up once."

"Waking up is a nice way of putting it."

"Seriously?"

"I wake up screaming, scared to death and miserable."

"Why did you want to do this without a crowd?" She asked me.

"Oh...that is on the way back. I told you I wasn't ready..."

"Will you ever really be ready?" She asked me as she rested her head on my shoulder.

I didn't know how to answer her. Would I ever be ready to take her to the place where I killed myself? It was hard enough for me to come back to the same area...I think for me to be able to move forward I need to face it. "Where I need to go...the last time I was there I was...but then I woke up and I was..." I couldn't even get the words out.

"You want to go to the place where you killed yourself." She whispered as she stood up and took both of my hands in hers. "I am right here with you every step of the way."

I stood up and together we walked out of the cemetery. We got back into the cab and I directed the cab driver to Great Falls. He parked off the side of the road and I instructed him to stay there until we came back. It was nearing midnight by then and it was extremely dark. Even though I hadn't been there in so long I still was able to walk blindly to the spot in which I jumped.

It was a park now, such a happy place for so many. Elena walked with me holding my hand the entire way to where I sat down on the rocks. "I tied a weight to my legs and jumped. I do not know how long I was underwater or what but when I woke up I was under water and still tied up...I thought that I was just going in and out of consciousness but nothing changed...I just wasn't dying."

I looked over at her and the light of the moon had reflected off the water and lit up her face. "It would have been so much better if I would have just died." I admitted.

"No...no it wouldn't." She told me quietly.

"After I climbed out I did everything I could to destroy myself...nothing worked and eventually I went back home only to have found Stefan sulking as usual...We got in a fight and I...I didn't realize how much stronger I was and I..."

"But he had her blood in him still too so when you...it..."

"Yeah. There is nothing I regret more."

"You need to let him back in."

"That is what he said earlier." I said as I shook my head. "I just don't know how...after so long...how can we possibly..."

**Elena POV**

"Are you going to sleep at all tonight Damon?" I asked him as I leaned into his shoulder once again. The waterfall was so strong, so powerful...it made even Damon look weak next to it.

"You haven't slept since we came on this trip." He lectured.

"I slept a little." I said as he put his arm around my shoulder.

"After coming here I don't think I could fall asleep." he mumbled.

"Does it feel different to come back here?"

"I can see that even the most evil thoughts when viewed in different company with different light..."

"It is kinda peaceful here." I told him.

"I sat right here on this rock the night that Katherine was supposedly locked away in the tomb. I was barely an adult and yet I had lost my mother, fought in a war fallen in love and lost my love and had my brother and my father turn against me...I didn't have anyone back then that I could talk to..."

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and pulled it out, 'Midnight. Going to bed. Take care of him. Love you.' I sent a text back, 'Sweet dreams. I will. Hugs.' "They going to bed?" He asked me. I nodded. "You need to sleep too."

"I will just have to get up again in three hours to go to Mt Vernon to see the sunrise anyway...what is the point?"

"The point," He said enunciating each syllable, "I am going to need you tomorrow and if I exhaust you before hand..."

"I get it." I told him with a roll of my eyes. "You want to go back to the hotel then?" I asked.

"Is it bad that I want you to stay with me and not let go?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't mean like I want to make out with you and do the whole boyfriend thing it is like totally different with you...it is more like you are my..." he said in super speed.

"No I know its not like that...what I am wondering is what is the difference when you with me or not with me."

"I just feel safe when I am with you and for as long as I can remember I have not felt safe...I have not felt loved."

"I want you to trust Stefan and Bonnie too." I told him.

"Do you think that we will be a happy little family one day?"

"That is what Bonnie thinks."

"I asked what you think."

"I think that only time will tell and that it depends on how well we are able to come together."

"You mean whether or not I can let them in." He said as he stood up.

"Do you think you can?" I asked him. He didn't answer but picked me up in his arms and carried me back to the cab. The warmth and closeness to him was relaxing to me, it was the first time he felt relaxed with me. He was still stressed, obviously, and he wasn't completely changed from how he was before this trip but he felt relaxed. I was asleep within minutes of getting into the cab.

**Stefan POV**

He carried her in and laid her down next to me in the bed. Bonnie had fallen asleep on the couch. I wrapped my arms protectively around Elena and watched as he went over and sat next to Bonnie. She lifted her head up and set it down on his lap.

He twirled her hair around his finger and stared out the window. I faded in and out of sleep until Elena woke up at four thirty. "We need to get packed up and head out." She said as she kissed me and walked into the bathroom. She saw Damon holding Bonnie because she smiled as she walked passed them.

I got up out of bed and Damon slowly stood up and followed me out onto the balcony. The Capitol was amazing at night all lit up. "Where did you go tonight?" I asked him after a few minutes in silence.

"Great Falls...where I killed, myself." He said without looking at me.

"That's why you didn't want me or Bonnie there." I said finally starting to understand.

"I want to share it all with you but it is impossible to just magically be able to let everyone in."

"It's okay you know."

"Going to Gettysburg...that is where I killed people the first time..."

"Are you going to let us in or are you going to put up your asshole wall?" Bonnie asked as she put her arm around Damon's waist.

"Are you guys ready to go to Mt Vernon?" He asked having ignored Bonnie.

"Sunrise here we come!" Elena said coming out to the deck.

We got to Mt Vernon right at five. We walked right through the gate and went around to the back deck of the house so we were facing the Potomac.

As the sun rose we laughed and joked and once again played "Have you ever". For as much as Damon had done he sure hadn't done very many of the teenager/young adult type of activities.

"Have you ever gone skinny dipping?" Bonnie asked...Damon was the only one to not raise his hand.

"Have you ever stayed up all night watching movies?" Elena asked...Damon was the only one again.

"Have you ever snuck out of the house?" Bonnie asked.

"Seriously you guys did I grow up on another planet from you?" Damon asked as he stood up and walked down and leaned against a tree facing the water.

I watched as Elena and Bonnie had their silent conversation. After only a couple seconds Bonnie stood up and slowly walked down the bank towards Damon.

"You sure that is what he needs?" I asked Elena.

"I don't think even he knows what he needs but the only way to get him to let you guys in is to push him...Bonnie wanted to try so..."

"So if he blocks her out you are going to?"

"Give him a chance Stefan. I think he will surprise even himself."

* * *

_**What do you think?**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Bonnie POV**

As I walked toward Damon I asked for guidance from Grams. She may be dead but I can always feel my connection to her. He had tears sliding down his cheek when I reached him. I reached my hand up to wipe them off but he turned away from me. "Let me be here for you Damon." I requested.

I stood next to him, silent but together. He didn't run but he didn't let me in closer to him. I knew he was hoping that Elena would come over to him and hold him; she could fix him...but I knew I could help too...if he would allow me to.

Finally he groaned and slid down the tree until he was sitting with his knees bent up to his chest and his head in his hands. "You held me all night last night. Why?" I asked him as I crouched down in front of him.

"I don't know anymore...I don't know who I am, I don't know who I want to be...I am scared and I guess I just wanted to have someone close to me." He said without looking up.

"None of us know who we are. We just have to trust each other and believe in each other and somehow we will figure it all out."

"How can you be so calm when your Grandmother just died in order to save vampires?" He said as an attempt to push me away.

"She did because I asked her to. As much as an ass as you can be there is something in there that Elena has seen from the beginning that I am just now beginning to see."

"I think you all are just delusional." He mumbled.

I lifted his face up so he was looking at me, "Then why did you help with Gram's final wish?"

I could see the pain, the fear, the heart ache in his eyes. I think that that very moment sitting against the tree on the edge of the Potomac as the sun was rising in the sky that I first looked into his eyes.

"Damon why don't you let people look into your eyes?" I asked him.

"For the last 150 years the only time I did it was to compel people to get something I wanted. No one ever wanted to look until now..."

"Why are you scared to let me in?" I asked him.

"My mom was killed, my father hated me, Stefan was turned to a vampire, I had to kill or injure more people than I care to ever count...the end result is never a good one."

"I'm not going to give up on you Damon Salvatore."

"It will take time." He said as he looked into my eyes again.

"You ready to go to Gettysburg?"

"No." He said as he stood up and started walking back to the parking lot. As we walked past Stefan and Elena they stood up and followed, no doubt Stefan had been listening to everything I had said and was keeping Elena updated.

Gettysburg was going to be hard for him and I hoped that when things got hard he would let me, not only Elena in. I guess only time will tell.

**Stefan POV**

Damon drove silently down the highway to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. He parked at the Best Western on the Square and Damon and I brought all the stuff into the hotel...they were going to keep our bags until our room was ready, while the girls checked out a couple of the stores.

"Was any of this stuff here when you were here last?" I asked him as we exited the hotel and headed down the street.

"A couple of the houses and maybe some of the buildings...it all looked so different with bodies and tents everywhere." He answered...I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or truthful.

"What was it like for you to fight in the war?"

"Until we got here I didn't have to kill anyone." He said with a shrug of his shoulders. "It was nice to be away from dear old dad but I hated to leave you." He said slowing down and looking directly into my eyes.

"Why was it so important for you to protect me?"

"Mom made me promise I would."

"What was she like?" I asked. She died when I was just a baby and I never got the chance to know her. Our father refused to talk about her so I knew next to nothing of her life.

"Everyone loved her, she was the perfect most loving person...and then I let her in...and it all started to change..." He said no longer able to look me in the eye.

"That is when vampires first came to Mystic Falls?" I asked.

"It is the first I heard of it...she came, I had seen Mom visiting with her in the yard and so after you were born and she came over and asked to come in and see her I didn't think anything of it..."

"That is why he blamed you." I said for the first time understanding our fathers resentment of Damon. "But you were so young...how could you have known..."

"It doesn't matter." He told me as he sped up to go to where we said we would meet up with the girls.

"I want to know you...so to me it does matter. What was it like for you to have to..."

"To kill someone?" He asked.

"Yeah...I mean was it easy?"

"The first guy I killed I did it so I could survive...he was coming at me with his gun and I...well I shot him straight in the chest. He died instantly. I still see his face..."

"Is it different now than it was then?"

"Totally."

"How?"

"They didn't usually die right away then...and they were in pain..."

"And now?"

"I try to do it quick..." He told me, "I don't enjoy it you know. To me killing a human is no different than killing a rabbit...I don't like doing either."

"Then why do you do it?"

"What choice do I have Stefan?"

"Do you wish you were never turned?"

"Stefan I turned because I tried to kill myself after losing her..." He reminded me.

I hated him like this; at least he was talking to me though. It was hard to see him try and shut everyone out when all we wanted to do was help him. I saw the girls up ahead sitting on a rickety old bench looking through a bunch of brochures they had picked up.

"I kinda wanted to go on one of those bus tours...maybe two of them because one is during the day and the other one is a special haunted one at night." Bonnie said excited. Elena looked at Damon and I could tell she was worried at what his response would be.

"I will not have a tour guide who was not there." Damon said quietly crossing his arms.

"Should we split up again?" I asked Damon.

"Maybe this afternoon we can go do our own thing...but lets do something together this morning. Can we wander around town check out the shops and stuff, get lunch and then split up?" Elena asked us...though she was more specifically asking Damon who took a few seconds to make eye contact.

Once he nodded Bonnie said, "This afternoon maybe you and I can go to the University and check out old records and the library and then maybe we can go on the tour tonight and meet up for a late dinner?"

It was decided. I hoped that this would be the last time we would have to split up...I mean...I was glad that Elena was able to help Damon but I missed spending time with her. At the library though I kept wishing that Bonnie would be able to find a spell or something that could make Damon and I human again... to live a normal life...to live a life that would have a natural end.

**Elena POV**

I felt uptight all morning; Stefan was clinging to me, Bonnie kept trying to buddy up to Damon, Damon kept wandering off by himself. Something just did not feel right and I think it was the dread associated with going to the battle field this afternoon with Damon.

Of all of the things he had allowed me in for this was going to be the hardest for him. I knew that Stefan wanted me to spend time with him, and I wanted to spend time with him as well, but this was what Damon needed and I know Stefan understood.

Bonnie didn't know how to fit in and kept looking to me for advice...I didn't know what to tell her though. Stefan and her seemed to get along fine and they both seemed to be having an enjoyable time on this trip but at the same time it seemed like they were both upset that Damon was letting me in and not them... bah. Too much was cycling through my head to keep it all straight.

We had lunch at a small pub like place right next to the hotel before Damon and I went to the car and bid our farewells to Stefan and Bonnie. It took about thirty minutes from the town square to where the actual site was that the battle of Gettysburg happened.

Damon parked off to the side of the road at the top of Little Round Top and got out of the car. He didn't seem to realize that I was with him and he walked in a zombie state of mind off the trail and up the hill a little ways to where there were two rocks stacked on top of each other. He placed his hand on the side of it and felt his way around to the back side of it.

He sunk to the floor of the woods with his back to the rock and tears began to stream down his face. All the pain was etched into his face and I started to cry along with him. I slid down the rock next to him and he leaned into me. It could have been minutes, or hours that we sat there like that leaning into one another for support while expelling our grief.

We were crying for different reasons but no one reason was better than the other. He looked down at me and whispered, "Right here is where my life changed forever." I too his hand in mine and he pulled me onto his lap and held me; his face pushed into my neck, I felt his breath as he sobbed.

"Today it is changing again." I whispered into his ear whilst I pulled the hair on the back of his neck.

When he pulled his face away I saw the veins in his eyes pop and he tried to hide it from me, somehow I knew I was not in danger and I held my face as close to his as I could; "Stop hiding who you are." I told him in a tone barely over a whisper.

"I am a monster Elena." He said as he attempted to turn his head away from me.

"Not to me."

"I am a Killer."

"To me you are just Damon."

"How can you see past this." He said in reference to his face. Even as he spoke though the veins faded and his appearance returned to normal.

"Because I can see in here." I said as I firmly poked his chest where his heart was.

He placed his hand over mine and held it to his heart. "Thank you." He whispered.

"Tell me what happened here. You said you would not tour the battle field with a guide who wasn't actually here...well I wont either." I told him as I wiped a remaining tear from his face.

"Do you really want to know?" He asked me.

"I don't just want to know what battle was held on what day...I want to know what it looked like, what it smelled like, what it felt like...all of it." I told him. He hopped up and led me back to the car.

As we drove he explained in great detail what the area looked like when he left it. Over seven thousand dead men; tent cities and homes turned into hospitals to care for the thirty thousand who had been wounded. "I left before the third day but from what I heard it was much like the first two. Stepping over body after body and even using bodies as shields...it was a mess."

"What made you leave to go back home?"

"You are the first person to ask me that." He told me as we drove through the battlefield. "I stepped over the body of a wounded boy...he was from Mystic Falls. He was friends with Stefan when they were young. He was only seventeen...I held him as he took his last breath and then I just left. I knew the war would be over anyway...the Union was winning so I just went home."

"You walked all the way home?"

"Train part way but ya...I walked..."

"How long did it take?"

"I was in a fog...I do not think that I slept and the hours and day and night just blurred together until I was home again."

"You haven't slept since then?"

"I have slept, Elena just not for extended periods of time...two hours here two hours there..."

"Tonight will you try to sleep?" I asked him as we drove past yet another memorial.

"You need to spend the night with Stefan." He told me.

"Are you going to let Bonnie help you sleep tonight?" I asked him as I crossed my arms and turned to face him.

"God Elena I have a hard enough time talking to you about this shit." He said slowing down and pulling off to the side of the road by a viewing platform overlooking one of main battlefields.

"Well I am not going to leave you alone until you are okay enough that you can actually sleep through the night."

"It is just weird to you know lay in bed with you and Stefan and Bonnie...even for a vampire that is kinda awkward."

"Well we all want to help you."

"I need my space at the same time too." He said after getting out of the car and climbing the steps to the top of the platform.

He sat down and dangled his legs over the edge of the platform. The view was amazing but it was tarnished by the image of thousands of dead young men that I knew was all the Damon was seeing when he looked over the fields.

"Do you want to stay out here tonight?" I asked him after a few minutes of silence.

"You would do that?" He said cocking his head towards me.

"Why is that so shocking to you?" I asked as I scooted so I was right next to him. "When you look out there do you see it how it looks then or how it looks now?"

"Both...like one picture is on top of the other...I wish I could only see what is out there right now...then maybe I wouldn't be so scared."

"Did your mom ever tell you to only look forward and never look back?"

"Yes?" He said as he stared questioningly at me.

"The past is important, it is what made us who we are today; but what really matters is how we take what we are today to become who we want to be tomorrow."

"It is just hard to forget everything Elena. This is all new to me...I haven't had someone care...I mean actually care since she died... now I have you and..."

"And Stefan and Bonnie?" I asked.

"It just takes getting used to."

We sat together there on the viewing platform for hours. As the sun set over the hills the sky blazed a fiery orange. As it got darker and darker Damon inched closer and closer to me until he had wrapped himself partially around me with his head rested on my shoulder. I could feel his warm breath on my neck and felt him relax and let go of all the pain that was represented by his past.

When the only light in the sky was coming from the stars I turned to look into his eyes. "Will you always be here to take care of me?" He whispered.

"For the rest of my life." I promised.

"Were you serious about staying out here with me tonight?" He asked me. I shrugged my shoulders curious what he was getting at.

"If I am going to try and sleep here I do not want an audience."

"I will stay wherever you do." I said as I relaxed into his chest. I felt so comfortable with Damon, he was relaxed, loose and trusting with me, very much unlike who he is around others...always so guarded.

"You feel protective of me." he said, "Why?"

"I know what it is like to need to be protected." I answered.

"When we were in Atlanta you cried when you thought that ass was going to kill me...you stopped him from killing me." I didn't say anything and waited for him to continue. After a few minutes he looked at me with a doofy face and said, "it feels like you are a cross between my mother and my girlfriend."

I laughed, "so what does that make me?"

"The only person in this world I trust with my life." He answered. "The only person I trust with my heart." he whispered into my ear. I turned so that I could lean into him and snaked my arm into his jacket and around his back; partially to hug him and partially because since the sun had set it had dropped about twenty degrees.

"You are cold." He said standing up and pulling me up with him. "I am surprised Stefan hasn't called yet."

A split second later my phone rang in my pocket...Damon smiled at me and I answered as we climbed down the steps to head back into town to meet them for dinner.

**Damon POV**

After a wonderful dinner of a near raw steak with my special sauce...that totally grossed out the girls we walked back to the hotel. "Three rooms are available on the top floor. They are all adjoining...that is all we have open." The person behind the counter told us. I took the keys and went up to the rooms.

"You and Stefan share a room, I get my own room and Damon gets his own room?" Bonnie asked.

I looked towards Elena hoping that she would say something but she did not. I was surprised then when Stefan said, "I think Elena will probably be going back and forth between me and Damon tonight." He wrapped his arm protectively around her and she smiled up at me.

"Well since that is all settled..." I said rolling my eyes as I walked through the door of the first room. I did not think they would all follow me in.

"Uh don't you guys have your own rooms?" I asked sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"We need to figure out the plan for tomorrow Damon." Bonnie said as she took a seat next to me on the bed.

'We go back to DC tomorrow for one more night in the city before going home." Elena answered.

"What time are we meeting for breakfast in the morning?" Stefan asked.

"Eight." I answered. "We can meet in your room since it will be in the middle." I finished.

Stefan and Elena grabbed their backpacks and went into the next room leaving Bonnie behind. "I wish she would have been in the tomb Damon." She whispered to me with a heavy sigh.

"I am sorry Sheila died." I mumbled back.

"Damon do you want to become become mortal again?" She asked me.

"Yes." I said feeling ashamed and relieved at the same time.

"Tomorrow night before we go back...we can do the spell if that is what you want."

"Only if Stefan agrees." I said feeling nervous for the first time in over a century.

"He already said he wanted to but only if you did too."

"Would we be human again?"

"No...I haven't been able to find a spell to reverse... but we found one today that will allow your bodies to age as humans so you will die the same as us."

"Will it work even with us bonded together?"

"I think that will make it work better." She told me. "Do you think that the two of us will...well...you know..."

"Is that what you want?"

"I think so." She whispered to me.

"Well you are definitely hot enough." I said smiling as I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight Damon." She said as she walked out of my room. I changed my clothes, took a quick shower and sat down on the bed and began flipping through the channels on the TV while I waited for Elena to come into my room for the night.

**Bonnie POV**

It was hard to leave Damon in his room alone to go into my room alone. I knew Elena would be in there soon leaving Stefan alone in his room listening through the wall. I felt very alone even though I was with my best friend and two others that I was destined to be connected to for the rest of my life.

I didn't have Grams. My parents were clueless...they just thought she was a kooky old woman and never had a clue. I felt like I was in my own world dealing with the loss of Grams. Sure the others knew and strongly felt loss, but it was different for all of them. They all had someone, if they let them to be there for them; to know what it felt like... Elena had Jeremy. Damon and Stefan had each other... I have no one really.

I laid down in bed and stared up at the ceiling contemplating everything that had happened in the last year. My and Elena's lives have changed so much in such a short time and somehow we are closer friends and as close to family as we have now.

I was not ready for this little vacation to end and attempt to go back to our own lives. I don't even know what my life is anymore. I felt tears start to slide down my cheek as I heard the door to Damon's room open and close. I heard quiet murmurs through the wall and knew that they were together in there and it made me feel so alone.

I rolled over onto my stomach and began to cry into my pillow...maybe it was twenty minutes, maybe it was two hours but I heard a gentle knock on my door and Stefan came in slowly and sat down on the edge of my bed. "You aren't as alone as you feel right now Bonnie." He whispered to me as he leaned against the bed post.

"You felt me in the other room?" I asked him.

"I heard you crying." He answered. "Do you want to talk?" He asked me gently.

"How are you not balled up in a corner somewhere crying?" I asked him as I sat up with tears falling freely down my face.

"I need to be strong for Elena...and for Damon...If I break now then Elena will worry about me and then..." He said practically choking on his words.

"You know that if Damon doesn't open up now he never will and so instead of acting how you feel you put up the wall he is trying to take down?"

"Something like that." He said smiling softly at me. "You want to watch tv or something?"

He flipped on the channel and Bewitched was on TVLand. "So can you do stuff like she does?"

"I don't have to twitch my nose or anything stupid like that." I told him as I flipped back the blanket and pulled the pillows down to the foot of the bed and laid down backwards.

"How much was Sheila able to teach you before..."

"She gave me all her journals...all of Emily's journals..."

"Would you allow me to look at them?"

"I suppose...you have been great to help me search all the old records and stuff here to learn more."

"Do you think that you and Damon are meant to end up together?"

"I think so...I mean...you feel like an older brother and Elena is practically my sister but with Damon it is different." I tried to explain.

"Is it just because you think we are suppose to couple up or do you actually feel something for him?"

"When I look into his eyes I just want to touch him and hug him and...I dunno how to explain it."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"Briefly."

"What did he tell you?"

"He kissed my forehead and said to give him time." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"I am scared that he will never fully let anyone in because none of us really understand what he has been through all these years."

"Lay down with me and relax. You make me nervous with you sitting on the edge of the bed." I said pulling on his arm.

He laid down on his stomach next to me and I scooted closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. "Stefan how much of his childhood do you remember?"

"Well he is quite a bit older than I am and our father was always trying to separate us but would never tell me why and he eventually gave up when I was around 10 but then a couple years later he had to leave for the Civil War and then when he came back..."

"Did you ever ask?"

"You are talking about Damon right?" He asked me rolling his eyes before laying his head down on the pillow to watch TV. I started to doze off to the TV and felt so comfortable knowing that Stefan was in here with me, neither of us ready to be alone for the night but neither of us wanted to admit to that.

**Elena POV**

I didn't even knock I just walked in and crawled into the bed next to where Damon was sitting. "I shouldn't be scared to go to sleep." He whispered to me.

"I am going to be here next to you all night." I promised.

"How is that suppose to keep me from remembering?"

"It isn't. It is so you know you are safe here and now with me." I told him as I crawled under the blankets of the bed. "Come on Baby lay down next to me."

"Okay Momma Wayna" He said in baby talk rolling his eyes at me.

"What makes you the most scared right now?"

"Seeing the fear in my Mother's eyes when she told me to protect Stefan."

"What can I do to make you feel safer?" I asked him as he climbed under the blankets and laid down next to me.

"Let me not go to sleep."

"For real?"

"I don't know Laney." He said pressing his fists into his eyes.

"Close your eyes and relax." I said rolling to face him and tracing the lines on his face gently with my fingers.

"Take a deep breath." I whispered as I ran my hands through his hair.

"I'm scared." He said sleepily.

"I am right here Baby." I said taking both of his hands in mine and laying my head down on my pillow with our foreheads touching.

"Never leave me Laney. Promise you will never leave me." He said opening his eyes and staring into mine.

"Relax Baby, I'm not going anywhere." I said as I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight.

He wiggled his body around mine so I was holding him. I ran my fingers up and down his back until his breathing evened out and he was asleep. I turned my head and kissed his forehead before closing my own eyes and drifting off to sleep.

I woke up with the sun shining in the window and smiled as I looked down at Damon's sleeping form. He slept through the night! "Good morning Baby." I whispered, once again running my fingers through his hair.

"Laney still sleepy." He grumbled in his sleep and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Damon you just slept through the night." I whispered tussling his hair.

He opened his eyes and his entire face broke out into a huge smile. "I did didn't I?" He asked obviously pleased.

"You ready to get up for breakfast with Bonnie and Stefan?" I asked. "We have about an hour until we are suppose to meet them.

"Elena I don't know how to thank you for what you have done." He said practically throwing himself on me.

"Yup lets do it!" He said hopping up and running over to Stefan's room.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Bonnie POV**

The day sure went by fast. Stefan and I were in his room waiting for Elena and Damon to come in so we could go get breakfast and we were both shocked when Damon bounced into the room and picked me up and swung me around before planting a kiss right on my lips. Damon gave us all a detailed tour of Gettysburg before we began the drive back into DC. It was interesting to hear the personal stories about what the war had actually been like from someone who was there. He never mentioned what it was that he did during the battle though. Nothing personal and yet him even talking about things he saw going on around him seemed painful for him to talk about.

We stopped at the Air and Space Museum in Virginia and explored the planes, the space shuttle and overall had a great time. Damon was a lot more hands on and touchy feely with me which was nice but it somehow felt forced...maybe it was just that it was such a character change I was not used to it. He also kept putting his arm around Stefan's shoulder and sneaking up behind Elena and grabbing her hand and swinging her arm back and forth much like a young child would do. It was amazing the difference I had seen in him in such a short amount of time.

I was afraid it wouldn't last though; so was Stefan, I could see it in his eyes. Neither of us knew what had caused the change in Damon because he still did not allow us into his personal thoughts. Whatever the change was though it was a step in the direction of happiness. Somehow the connection between him and Elena was amazing. It was stronger than the connection I saw between Stefan and Elena but it was such a totally different relationship. I hoped that eventually the four of us would all have equally strong bonds to one another.

It only took a half hour to get from the museum back to the hotel we had been staying at in DC and we threw all our bags into the room and set off to explore the city. When we went to the Holocaust museum Damon began to close off again and he stuck close to Elena. He took my hand a couple times when Elena had stepped away to look at something with Stefan. He held it so hard that it hurt when we walked through the show exhibit; Elena and Stefan had stayed back looking at one of the photographs along one of the walls. He didn't rush me through the exhibit but I could see it was difficult for him to be in there. The entire left side of the exhibit was an enormous pile of shoes that were taken off the victims before they were killed. The smell of the leather of the shoes was one I wouldn't forget and I could see that it was a smell he had smelled before.

When we got through there was a long hallway with cubicle benches to sit and watch a short video or whatever on small computer screens. I led Damon to one of the benches and had him sit down. He leaned his head back against the wall in the corner and I saw tears in his eyes. I put my hand over his and held it tight but did not say anything.

At first he held onto my hand and searched my eyes for the connection he felt with Elena, the trust he shared with her...he for some reason did not feel that with me yet. After a few minutes he had composed himself but had completely shut himself off from me. It was as if he could not look into my eyes anymore. "Laney." He whispered after another couple of minutes.

**Elena POV**

As Stefan and I walked through the museum we studied the photographs. Right at the end of the death camp photos our jaws dropped as we saw a photograph of Damon holding two small children in his arms as he carried them to a medical jeep. We both stared at the picture and out of the corner of my eye I saw Bonnie and Damon move quickly into the next room.

"Did you know that he...?" Stefan asked me.

"He has been in every US war since the Civil War." I answered. "I just didn't know he had to actually see this..."

"Why didn't he ever tell me he was fighting in all these wars?" Stefan asked frustrated.

"He has always tried to protect you."

"But who gets to protect him?"

I took his hand and led him through the door into a room full of shoes. The smell was indescribable and definitely unforgettable. It was the first place in the museum that made it all seem real. I started to panic knowing that the smell would have brought something back for him and I did not see him in the room.

"Damon..." Stefan said grabbing my hand and rushing through the room. "He needs you...not Bonnie right now."

As we walked out of the room we entered a hallway with little cubicles. I saw Bonnie's shoe sticking out of one and rushed inside. Damon was frozen with his arms crossed over his chest and his back so straight into the wall that it looked painful. Bonnie was stroking his hand and doing the best she could to sooth him.

"He needs you." Bonnie whispered letting go of Damon's hand and going to stand next to Stefan.

I sat down next to Damon on the bench and immediately wrapped my arms around him and he buried his face in my shoulder. I could feel him shaking when I turned my head to face Bonnie and Stefan. "I will call if I need anything but I want you guys to see everything and do everything you want to before we go home tomorrow."

"Call if you need us to meet up with you." Stefan whispered before taking Bonnie's hand and leading her down the hall.

"Who were the two kids Damon?" I asked him, pulling myself back from him enough to look into his eyes.

"Lawrence and Abigail." He whispered with tears in his eyes.

"What happened to them?"

"Their parents were killed. I brought them to America and raised them. They lived in Oregon, their grand kids still do."

"You raised them?" I asked.

"Yes. I saved them and I raised them." He answered as he sat up and rubbed his hands over his eyes.

"Do you want to leave?" I asked when he stood up.

"No. I want you to see the rest of the museum." he answered as he slowly stood up. Holding my hand tightly we went through the rest of the museum stopping again only to light seven candles in the memorial room. "Four for their parents, one for Lawrence's older brother and two for Abigail's two younger sisters." He explained as he lit the candles.

Upon exiting the Museum we walked a couple blocks to the Hard Rock Cafe where Damon ordered a drink to help him relax as we shared a giant ice cream sundae. "Is there anything else you want to you while we are in DC?" He asked me while we were eating.

"We should go buy shirts or something totally touristy for the four of us and then just walk around The Mall and people watch." I answered.

"No more museums?"

"Nope."

"Are you sick Laney?" He asked me.

"No I am not sick." I said as I rolled my eyes. "I just want to hang out with you before we go back to real life."

"You mean you want me to spill my guts until I am okay to go home and be able to function normally?"

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked him.

"Its nice to have someone who loves me." He mumbled.

**Damon POV**

This has been the most draining week of my entire life. Sure I have had to do and see a bunch of really crappy things in my life but I have never dealt with any of it until now... until her... she is...I dunno she is just different and for some reason I trust her with my life.

It is messed up though that I feel towards her how I felt towards my mother. Or at least that is the closest comparison I have to how I feel about her. No one, other than my parents when I was a baby, had ever seen me cry and here with her... I fell apart like a freaking baby.

"Laney I want to take you somewhere." I said grabbing her hand and pulling her hand.

"How long does it take to get there?" Was all she asked me. We walked down to the car and she got in the passenger seat and just stared out the window as I drove giving us both a chance to think.

I took her to the ocean and out to a light house that was built in 1825. "Why here Damon?" She asked me as we climbed off the boat and up the steps to the lighthouse.

"I always thought it was the best sunrise here." He said shrugging his shoulders.

"So we are staying here tonight?"

"One last break from reality before going home. I thought you might enjoy it out here." I told her.

"Did you tell Stefan and Bonnie where we were going?"

"I texted him telling him we would meet them for breakfast."

"What did he have to say about that?" She asked me turning to face me.

"He just said good luck and when we get home he hopes that I will be able to talk to him too."

"Is there anything you wanted to do tonight?" Elena asked me sitting down on one of the chairs in the small living area of the lighthouse.

"Sleep a little and then get up to see the sunrise and then we can go back to DC to have breakfast and then go home."

"When did you want to go to bed?" She asked me yawning. I forgot that she had barely slept all week since she had been staying up with me every night.

"Laney you go to bed now and I will come lay down with you in a little bit."

She crossed her arms and gave me one of those looks she is famous for that always made her get her way. "I promise I will come in in a couple minutes." I said as I pushed her towards the tiny bedroom.

She went in and laid down on the bed but did not go to sleep. She instead listened to every move I made ready to jump up and run to me if she thought I needed her. I opened up the windows so we could hear the waves crash onto the rocks as we slept and then went into the bedroom and crawled into the bed with Elena.

"You ready for sleep Love?" She asked me after a few seconds of silence.

"I'm still scared." I told her.

"I will still be here." She assured me. I wrapped my arm around her and held her close to me as I drifted off to sleep next to the only person I felt one hundred percent safe with.

**Stefan POV**

"They aren't coming back tonight." I said to no one in particular.

"I hope she can help him." Bonnie said as she wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me into a hug.

"So I guess it is just you and I for the night...what did you want to do?" I asked her as we walked through the National Mall.

"Lets go on a date." She answered as she rolled her eyes.

"Dinner and a movie?" I asked smiling.

"Sure...where do you want to eat and what movie did you want to see?"

"How about Mexican food and Green Zone?" She asked.

And that is exactly what we did. We found a little hole in the wall Mexican food joint and then went to the theater just a few miles from the hotel. We got back close to midnight and were both so exhausted we just wanted to lay down and sleep.

"Is it weird if we share a bed?" She asked me as she crawled under the covers.

"We have done it every other night of this trip. Is tonight different?"

"No but Elena and Damon aren't here." She answered as if I were completely clueless.

"I can sleep on the couch if you want me to." I answered.

"No that isn't what I meant it is just that...well...Grams I am sure meant for the four of us to be like a family and you and Elena are like a couple but Elena is the only one that Damon trusts so...and then me..."

"So you think you are meant to spend the rest of your life with Damon or I?" I asked confused. "Is that why you have been flirting with Damon?"

"Is that bad?" She asked me looking incredibly vulnerable.

"No...I have been thinking along those same lines. Things are just changing so fast it is all a little overwhelming."

"I have had fun with you this week and it makes me wonder if it is suppose to be me and you together instead of me and Damon but you are with Elena and..."

"Its all a little confusing...and I really don't know what all is going to happen between me and Elena or me and you or you and Damon or even Elena and Damon..." I said frustrated.

"I wish there was some spell that would tell me what would happen in the future." Bonnie whispered sadly.

"Do you think everything will be all screwed up once we go back to Mystic Falls tomorrow?" I asked.

"I hope not but they will be different than they were at the start of the school year that is for sure." She answered.

"Haha no...I bet you never imagined at the beginning of the year that you would be such close friends with two vampires." I said smiling as I laid down in bed to go to sleep.

"Good night Stefan." She said as she closed her eyes to sleep.

**Bonnie POV**

Two hours until we head back to Mystic Falls. Damon called a few minutes prior saying they had one more stop and then they would pick us up to head home. Home is a new concept for me though, my home before was with Grams and my parents. Now it is just me and my parents in a house I am scared to return to.

Stefan had gone off to get a small supply of blood before heading back home. I had gone out onto the balcony and was people watching. Everyone looked so relaxed, so happy. Most were on vacations exploring the Nations Capitol without a care in the world... we had come to get away... and in turn we had faced some of our fears together as well as grow closer as a family.

Now we will be returning home together to try and figure out what the rest of our lives will entail. It will be a difficult transition knowing that Elena and I have to return to school and try to be normal teenagers. I didn't even know how that would be possible.

"Hey Stranger" Elena said appearing out of no where and sitting down next to me on the balcony. "You ready to play normal tomorrow?" She asked me.

"Scared that I wont be able to is more like it." I told her. "How is Damon?" I asked.

"Same as the rest of us I imagine. Did you and Stefan have a good time last night?"

"Uh...it was kinda weird actually. Him and I have gotten closer and you and Damon had gotten closer and so it was weird and I didn't know if thinking that you and Stefan and me and Damon would somehow get flipped and...I dunno my head is just so flipped around I am thinking crazy things." I blurted out...worried about what Elena would think.

"I have wondered the same thing and I guess only time will tell." She said as she leaned her head over and rested her head on my shoulder.

**Elena POV**

The drive home was the longest couple hours I had ever experienced. No one said a word or even made eye contact once we got onto the highway out of DC. I was scared. Had we been living in an alternate reality these past few days on 'vacation'?

Were we going to get back home and everything be different again? Was I destined to be with Stefan? Or Damon? What about Bonnie? Everything was just screwed up again. That is why when we drove into Mystic Falls I turned and looked at the scared faces of my best friends in the car and whispered, "Go to the bridge."

Damon of course turned and drove straight to the bridge and pulled the car off to the side of the road. I got out and walked slowly over to the bridge and sat down dangling my feet over the edge. It took a couple minutes but one by one the three of them joined me.

"Everything started here." I whispered.

"This bridge has some meaning for each of us...something that has somehow connected us all to each other and I don't know what will happen in the days, weeks, months or even years but before we go home I want to know that no matter what we will remain close."

"Laney of all people I have met you are the oddest. There is no way I can live my life without you in it." Damon told me.

"I don't mean just you each connected to me...I mean all of us all connected to each other." I said again.

"I think that is going to be the hardest on me and I promise that if you guys can be patient with me I wont stop trying." Damon said looking directly at Bonnie.

"What does normal look like?" Stefan asked.

"For Elena and I it means going back to high school, doing our homework and spending time with our friends."

"It means that we have to not only go to school and do the normal high school senior stuff it means we have to balance family and friends and our time with just the four of us." I said looking between Damon and Stefan.

"Elena I don't want you to worry about whether or not you spend enough time with me and Damon because we will figure it out with time...its not like Damon and I are lacking that in our lives..." Stefan said quietly.

"About that....Did you want to do the spell to make it so you age like a normal human?" Bonnie asked.

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_**What do you think?? The more comments I get the quicker I update...**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Stefan POV**

I wish it were as easy and do you want to grow old or not... it is so much more than that... I suppose I could simplify and just say yes I want to live a normal life but I cant. I will have to survive on blood whether or not I grow old and because vampires are not meant to grow old I don't know how growing old will even work for me...or for Damon.

I cannot do it unless Damon does. I cannot leave him to live forever by himself...no way. "Little Brother we can think about that later...the girls are still a few years younger than us so we have time to figure everything out." Damon told me.

"Are you guys ready to go home?" Elena asked after a few more minutes sitting at the bridge.

Bonnie looked at us scared, "My home is never going to be the same again." She whispered.

"I don't think anything is going to be the same again." Stefan responded as he put his arm around her shoulder.

"Come on now...the four of us are one big happy family now. Look forward to the future instead of wishing we were in the past." Damon said as he stood up.

"Its not as easy for me Damon." Bonnie told him.

Knowing that a fight was going to ensue if I did not change the subject I stood up and whispered, "Do you girls want to stay at the boarding house tonight?"

"One last night of big happy family before the girls go back to their lives as adorable high school students." Damon said rolling his eyes at me.

"Kinda." Bonnie whispered. "I am not ready to be alone."

"We can push our beds together and watch movies and snuggle like a slumber party." Damon squealed in a high pitched imitation of a teenage girls voice.

"Dont be a jerk Damon." Elena glared at him and I swear he shrunk his ego by 50%. She has an amazing control over him. I hadn't ever seen him act so...so...I don't even know how to describe it.

"Can we go then since we are all going together?" I asked. The girls got up and followed us back to the car.

**Bonnie POV**

We kind of did exactly what Damon said... we threw a bunch of blankets on the floor of the great room in front of the fire place and sat down and laughed and joked for hours. Damon and Stefan fell asleep first... the way we were all jumbled around each other it would have made for a great photograph. Elena was laying with her head propped against the edge of the couch. Stefan had his head rested on her shoulder and Damon had his head on her lap.

"Elena do you think they will have me do the spell to make them age?" I asked her as I listened to the wood crackle in the fireplace and the deep breathing of the two boys.

"I don't know...I mean...if they don't then we will get old and they wont so it kinda puts a damper on any possibility at a relationship with either of them." She answered as she ran her fingers through Damon's hair.

"Which one do you want to end up with?" I asked her.

"I honestly...I...I don't know anymore. I love them both so much but everything has changed so quickly and how I feel about them is changing along with everything else."

"I am scared." I whispered as I laid my head down into Stefan's lap.

"We all are." She whispered to me as she closed her eyes and rested her head against Stefan's with her arm around Damon's neck and shoulder. I could see how much she cared about the two of them just by looking and I could see how much they both loved her and how comfortable they both were with her. It almost seemed like we were normal teenagers when we were sleeping.

That was the only time we were "normal". When we were truly our most vulnerable was when we were the most connected was when we were sleeping.

**Stefan POV**

I woke up a little after four when Damon started squirming around. I heard him and was able to wake him up before he woke the girls. "Walk with me?" I asked him

He nodded and slowly got up and followed me out to the yard and into the forest where we walked to our old home. "Do you want to turn?" I asked him.

"Yes but not yet. Let them graduate high school and go to college and do the things we have never had the chance to do. Then we can change and live a normal lifestyle." He answered.

"Do you think we will get married to them?"

"Yes."

"Which one?" I asked.

"What do you think?"

"I think you and Elena will end up together."

"Are you okay with that?"

"She is the only person who you have ever trusted." I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

"That isn't what I asked Little Brother. I do not want another Katherine type scenario."

"It will never be that way Damon, not with her."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because Elena is a much better person than Katherine could have ever dreamed of being."

"So we have a plan?"

"We wait for the girls to go to college and then we get married and do all the normal human things and then once we are about the same ages we do the spell to grow old with them and live out the rest of our lives."

"You going to tell them?" Damon asked me as we started to walk back to the house.

"Not yet. Wait until they bring it up again, I want them to try to live like normal girls...they deserve that after all they have done for us."

"Elena deserves way better than either of us." Damon told me as he kicked a rock ahead of him down the road.

"Why do you always sell yourself short?" I asked him.

"Because I have been a monster and I am just so fucked up...she shouldn't have to deal with all the things I have seen or done."

"You know you aren't ever going to get rid of her so why not just live your life from here on out how she does deserve?"

"It isnt that easy all the time Stefan. I am haunted by it all... you don't even know half of it. You think you know what my life has been like but you don't." He grunted.

"So teach me...let me in like you have let her and talk to me."

**Damon POV**

"I cant just talk...its like I go to a different place when I talk to Elena...she...I dunno...she makes me feel safe and then stuff just starts spilling out... to just talk about it though I don't know if I can."

"How did mom really die?" He asked me.

"A vampire." I answered without looking at him.

"You think it is your fault?" Of course that is why... but why the hell does he have to ask.

"I invited her in. Mom just gave birth to you so there was blood all over...the vampire she...she kept visiting...I didn't know then what was going on but Mom knew...she made me promise to protect you...that is why she refused to move back into the main house...she thought the vampire would follow her but she knew that she couldn't go into the main house unless someone else invited her in."

"That is why our Father resented you so much..."

"He blamed me..."

"But it wasnt your fault." He tried to reason with me.

"I let her in Stefan. It was my fault." I said storming off back into the house where I knew he would not continue the conversation. Elena was sitting up on the floor and watched as I walked back into the house and I felt her eyes follow me up there stairs and into my room.

I was standing in the window when she entered into my room. She walked straight to my bed and crawled under the covers and waited for me to go over to her. That was why it was so different with her; she wasn't going to force me to talk but she was overly determined to be close whenever I needed someone.

I slowly walked over to the bed and crawled in and curled up against her and cried as she held me close. For a few minutes she didn't say anything but she finally asked, "Baby what were you and Stefan talking about?"

It took me a few minutes before I could compose myself enough to get the words out; "Our Mom." She wrapper her arms around me tighter and she cried with me. She understood how hard it was to lose a Mother, she understood how hard it was to talk about it.

I drew strength from her love and I started to drift off to sleep. She must have thought I was asleep because she slowly and very gently moved the hair from my forehead and kissed me softly and whispered, "We are going to be okay, Baby I promise you we will be okay."

**Elena POV**

I held him until he fell asleep, until his lips parted in relaxation, his breathing was slow, deep and regular... I crawled out of the bed and went down the hall to the library where I knew Stefan would be sitting.

"Talk to me." I gently demanded as I sat down on the edge of the desk in front of him.

He looked up to me with tear stained face, "I didn't mean to make him worse...I just want to know."

I moved to sit on his lap and I slowly wrapped my arm around his shoulders and wiped the tears from his eyes with my thumb. "You have to give him time Stefan. You are not ready to know everything and he is not ready to share it all."

"Elena he needs you." He whispered to me.

"So do you." I told him pulling him closer to me.

"He loves you Elena." He whispered. "He needs you." He stressed to me.

"I know." I told him as I kissed him on the cheek.

"I think Bonnie and I are suppose to be..."

"Is that what you want?" I asked him.

"I don't want to hurt you Elena."

"Stefan the four of us are a family. You being with Bonnie is not going to hurt me."

"You promise?"

"If you promise me one thing."

"What is that?"

"You never change who you are; you never forget that I will always love you; and you never hurt Bonnie."

"That is three things Elena and I swear to all of them." He said as he kissed me for the last time on the lips. "Damon is moving around in there..." He said turning his head.

I nodded and gave him a quick hug forcing him to look at me. With tears in his eyes I whispered, "You never forget that no matter what happens I will always love you." He gave me a sad smile and looked towards the door.

When I re-entered Damon's room he was still out to the world. Stefan just needed to be alone. It was going to take time to acclimate myself with our family. I had been Stefan's 'girlfriend' since September but since I went to Atlanta with Damon things had changed between us.

I climbed back onto the bed next to Damon and put my arm over him and started drawing on his back. I looked at each of the scars he had, barely visible to the eye and yet still there. I wished that I could take away the pain that Damon and Stefan, and now Bonnie had. I wish someone could take away the pain that I held; the pain that I tried to suppress so I could help my family.

As I was drawing circles on his back I finally allowed the tears to slide from my eyes. It didn't take long for Damon to wake up and look at me concerned; "Laney what's wrong?" He whispered, rolling over to face me.

"I am not good with change." I answered, wiping the tears from my face quickly.

"All this time of you being here for me...I have been selfish...you have been in just as much pain as the rest of us." He told me picking me up in his arms and holding me.

"Not the Damon." I said wiping my eyes again and smiling. "My parents have been gone over a year."

"Mine have been gone for over a hundred."

"Will it ever get any easier?"

"I asked you that I think."

"Can we go to the bar and get fucked up?" I asked him smiling.

"Oh Laney how I do wish we could do that...but sadly no...we cannot. You and Bonnie have to go back to school tomorrow."

"Did you have to remind me?" I said rolling my eyes and sitting up.

"Bonnie is up downstairs...we should go down there." Damon whispered.

**Bonnie POV**

I woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace with a pile of blankets surrounding me, at first I didn't remember where I was but then I looked up and saw Stefan asleep on the sofa behind me with his arm dangling over the edge next to me. Not too long after I realized Stefan was asleep there I wondered where Damon and Elena had gone off to and what I had missed. How is it that I sleep through everything?

"What should we have for breakfast?" I heard Elena ask from the stairs.

"Some good whiskey and some pancakes." He answered.

I rolled my eyes and whispered, "pancakes do sound good."

"Oh you are up...I thought you were going to sleep the day away." Damon said as he quickly pulled Elena into a hug and just as quickly let go. "I will make breakfast so you gals can have your girl talk." He said smiling towards her.

She walked over and sat down next to me, "How long has Stefan been back down here?" She asked me.

"I didn't know he ever left...I thought he just moved up to the couch." I answered quietly so I didn't wake him.

"Him and Damon went on a walk early early this morning and it didn't go so well."

"They okay?"

"I guess...I mean...I think they decided some things but then Stefan pushed Damon into talking about their mother and..."

"Gotcha...Damon needed his Laney." I said playfully dropping my head down onto her shoulder.

"Yah...the only problem with that is that Stefan is now almost as lost as Damon."

"So they both need you but Stefan wants you to only help Damon?"

"It is just all so confusing to me Bonnie...I love them both so much and it is like they are deciding out futures because they have to instead of just letting things happen naturally."

"You are worried about coming between them like Katherine did."

"Kind of...I mean they have both told me that other than how I look I am nothing like her and I want to believe that but it is hard when..."

"Just go with the flow I guess and help them both as much as you can and our hearts will put us where we are suppose to be." I told her.

"Bonnie do you think Stefan will be okay?"

"When we were in DC we talked quite a bit and he has a lot of issues, like Damon, but he hides them from himself whereas Damon hides them from everyone else."

"And we are just as screwed up in the head as they are...such an awesome combination."

"I am going to go take a shower before Damon has our breakfast ready." I told Elena before getting up and going upstairs. I hoped things worked out because I do not want people to be miserable anymore.

**Elena POV**

Not too long after Bonnie went upstairs I looked up at Stefan who was still asleep but was moaning softly, calling for his mom and he had tears sliding down his cheek. I climbed up to the sofa and lifted his head so he was leaning into my chest. I held him as he cried softly, still half asleep, whispering, "I have you Baby, you are safe with me." over and over again.

I looked up after a few minutes to see Damon leaning against the door frame with tears sliding down his face. I hated seeing them so broken. I wondered if they were this broken when they were still human or if it took decades of suppressing their pain to build up and finally break. It didn't take long for Stefan to fall back asleep once I was holding him and once he did, Damon came over and sat down on the floor in front of us and wrapped his arm around and rested his head on my leg.

"Damon I know it is hard but I want you to talk about what happened with your Mother; Stefan needs to know what happened to you."

"I know."

"Bonnie is here for you too. I want you to talk to both of them about the things you told me about on our trip."

"Laney...I...I can't."

I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, "Damon it doesn't have to happen today but you need to let us all in."

I felt Stefan move and knew he was awake, "I cant tell my little brother that I tried to kill myself and that is why I turned into a vampire. I cant explain to him that I have been in every war since the Civil War so that I could survive off blood without actually killing people...I cant explain to him why I...how am I suppose to keep my promise to our Mother if I cannot protect him?"

I wiped the tears from the side of Stefan's face and I whispered, "You guys have been brothers for almost two centuries and yet you have lived two very separate lives. Well now our lives are connected and cannot be ripped apart anymore so even if you cannot go into details about your past you need to be open enough to do that."

Damon leaned his head back into the sofa so his face was along the side of my leg, I began to run my fingers through his hair as he whispered, "I am so scared of getting hurt again Laney...you know...I cant just start talking and have everything be fine."

"It will take a long time for any of us to be fine but we have to stick together and lean on each other in order to even get to fine....Can you do that?"

"I want to." He whispered. Stefan rolled onto his side and dropped his arm over the edge of the sofa and wrapped it around Damon's neck with his hand resting on my knee. Damon tensed at first having realized that Stefan had heard what he had been saying but then his dam broke and he leaned his head against Stefan's arm and allowed his pain to flow freely from his body.

His whole body shook as the tears flowed down his face and the pain he had been holding for over one hundred and fifty years began to leave his body. "I don't want you to protect me Damon...not like you have been anyway...you deserve to be happy." Stefan whispered to Damon so quietly I barely heard.

"I'm so sorry." Damon sobbed. "God I am so fucked up it is ridiculous." He said as he started to laugh.

Like the flick of a switch the two of them had gone from crying together to joking... boys... I did not understand boys. "What happened to you making pancakes?" Stefan asked and a split second later the two of them were in the kitchen and I was left wondering what the hell had just happened.

**Damon POV**

Bonnie came down just in time to sit down as I plopped a giant plate full of pancakes in front of her. "Syrup?" She asked reaching for a container I had placed on the table.

"Uh...that one's not for you." I said taking it out of her hand and sliding it over in front of Stefan.

He picked it up and smelled it; "Seriously?" Stefan asked me as he pushed it away.

"Don't worry it is from a deer." I said rolling my eyes at him.

"Gross Damon... " Bonnie groaned...Elena just said there and rolled her eyes at me.

"What?" I asked faining innocence.

"Syrup. Damon?" Elena asked.

I stuck my tongue out at her and handed her the maple syrup before sitting down and eating.

Halfway through our meal Stefan asked, "Are the two of you going to go home tonight or are you going to stay here?"

"I need to at least go home to say hi to Jenna and see how Jeremy is doing." Elena answered.

"I probably should go home too." Bonnie answered.

"I don't want to leave you guys though." Elena said as she looked back and forth between Stefan and I.

"I have survived on my own for over one hundred and fifty years." I said a little too harshly.

"Don't even do that Damon." She said immediately getting tears in her eyes.

"Laney I didn't mean it like that." I tried to explain as she bolted from the room. I heard her go up to my room and shut the door behind her.

"She went to your room." Stefan smirked.

"What did you want to do today Stefan?" Bonnie asked him, attempting to ignore me.

"Okay okay...I will go talk to her." I said, "I don't think you guys could be anymore immature." I said before sticking my tongue out and walking out of the room.

I walked slowly up the stairs to my bedroom where I found Elena sitting in the window seat. "I am worried about you and Stefan and Jeremy and I don't want to leave you guys but I have left Jer alone all week and..."

"Stop worrying about everyone else for five minutes and worry about yourself." I said sitting down behind her.

"Jeremy has lost so much...his parents...Vicki...me..."

"Elena they were your parents too." I said putting my arms around her and pulling her back into my chest.

"It is different. He is younger."

"Elena he is like a year younger than you."

"Fine...whatever...I am worried about him." She snapped at me.

"What if he ends up with Anna?" She asked me after a couple seconds.

"Is it so bad for him to end up dating a vampire? I mean you really cant have double standards." I said trying to joke.

"He loved Vicki..."

"Vicki is gone...there is no way anyone will find her...I took her clear out in the middle of the woods and buried her halfway down a cliff edge." I tried to assure her.

"It just feels like something is going to happen that will..."

"If someone does happen to find her...which I doubt...we will get through it together just like everything else."

"If they find her Damon it affects more than just Jeremy..."

"You are worried about Matt?"

"He has been my best friend since kindergarten."

"Elena everything will be fine!" I tried again to assure her...it did not work very well.

"But what if..."

"What if this what if that... nothing can ever be perfect and you are the one who told me we get through everything together so why is this any different?" I asked her.

"I guess you are right...something just doesn't feel right."


	9. Chapter 9

_**So...this is a filler chapter somewhat...I want the story to kinda stay in line with the show so...let me know what you think...and I want to have more Bonnie in the story but it is hard when she hasn't even been on the show in the last few episodes...**_

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**Bonnie POV**

Elena and I had been back at school for a little over a week before I left to go stay at my aunts. My mother decided I was spending too much time at the Boarding House and insisted that I leave for a few days for a family healing. Basically yoga and home school all day every day with random share your feelings when you cant actually say what you are thinking.

Elena had been keeping me updated on everything...thank God for cell phones. Damon had apparently completely let go and was having a lot of slutty girls so he could get blood. Basically he shut off from Elena and Stefan and I hadn't been there but he would have shut me out too.

Elena was trying to find out who her Mother was and Stefan and Jenna were trying to help. It was hard for her to go to my Grandmother's funeral—that Dad insisted upon having even without a body. She kind of withdrew from everyone and was back stuck on her journal for someone to talk to. It was practically back to normal...only very very different.

There have been two times when I have looked out and seen Stefan at the edge of the yard but by the time I looked again he was gone. I knew he was just checking up on me to make sure I was okay but it frustrated me that he didn't come in or even try to come closer.

Each night as I laid down to sleep I put myself back in Washington DC in the hotel room when we were all so close. I do not know if we would ever be as close as we all hoped when we were on vacation from the real world.

I wanted to go off and be a normal teenager but how could I? I was a witch, my parents were holding me hostage in the stupid yoga fest and my best friend was barely reachable on her cell phone.

**Stefan POV**

I had to protect Elena, I had to protect Bonnie. The latter was much easier; her parents took her out of Mystic Falls so I just had to pop in every once in a while to make sure she was not alone and staying safe. Elena snooping into what happened to her birth mother though...it was a lot harder to protect her when I knew what I knew...or thought I knew.

She went and met with her birth mother's best friend... and when I went to check on her I found her dead...then I kept seeing the same guy following Elena...he was not a vampire so it wasn't too dangerous but I knew that Isobel was controlling him and I did not know what she was making him do.

Damon was back to being an asshole only caring about himself...getting drunk and sucking the blood from some slutty random girls he kept bringing home. He knew I wanted to know about Isobel but he thought it was because I was helping Alaric and did not realize the connection between them and Elena.

While all of this was going on I realized that somehow the other vampires had gotten out of the tomb and were roaming somewhere around Mystic Falls putting all of the residents at risk. I only hoped that Pearl had control over them and would keep them from harming more innocent people.

**Elena POV**

After I spoke with Trudy I went straight to the boarding house where I found a very drunk Damon Salvatore. He was rambling something about being an eligible bachelor and was going to be auctioned off. I asked how he was doing and he just blew me off. I hated that he was shutting off. "I would have gone out with you." He mumbled before asking me to help him to button his shirt.

When I told him about my mother he acted like he didn't care but his eyes said that they did. Or at least I hoped that was what I was seeing. He was covering up his harsh reality with alcohol and it annoyed me. But what got to me the most was how quickly he went from sleeping with me each night, sharing his intimate feelings with me to being the asshole I had met at the beginning of the school year.

I was relieved when Stefan walked in to meet me to go to the auction. He at least wasn't drunk even though he was acting unusually as well. When I told Stefan that I met with Trudy he knew that my mother had been Alaric's wife but instead of telling me more information he made me promise to stop asking questions. The ride to the auction was in silence.

I didn't know what to say anymore and was worried that my return to normal life would end in disaster for everyone I cared about. I couldn't get the gut feeling that something was going to happen that would turn our world upside down again.

Instead of spending time with Damon or Stefan at the auction I was near Matt and Caroline...at least they were normal high schoolers...at least until they discovered what was really going on in their little town. I hoped for the sake of Matt that he never did...I don't know if he could handle everything.

Damon and Alaric's banter back and forth during the auction was shocking. Damon pretty much admitted killing Isobel...my Mother. I couldn't take it anymore; I had to get out. He just didn't get it, he was so drunk and intent again on finding Katherine...though I think more for revenge than because he actually wanted to find her that he forgot what he actually cared about.

I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in the stall and called Bonnie. "I need you here." I sobbed into the phone. It was just her voice mail though...she had to sneak away to call me back. "Damon killed Isobel and he is drinking and doing God knows what with all these random girls and I am just so frustrated that he refuses to talk to me anymore and Stefan is almost as bad...he is so set on taking care of everyone that he is more like a babysitter than a friend. Grr! Just hurry up and come home...I need you here." I finished before I hung up the phone.

No sooner did I walk out of the bathroom did Stefan pop up again. He followed me outside just in time to meet the creepy stalker guy. Once again nothing could ever be normal for me and after he demanded that I say I stop looking for Isobel he stepped in front of a truck killing himself. We grabbed his cell phone and took off for home. It was just too creepy. Stefan said he was compelled but who could make an innocent guy kill himself? I just wanted to go home and forget everything that had happened.

**Damon POV**

I did it to get back at Alaric...and once again I hurt Elena...the one person who actually cared about me. I do not know why I was pushing her away again but I had to before she had the chance. She deserved better than me and I didn't want to get hurt anymore. After I escaped the God forsaken auction I went back home only to be interrupted by Alaric the ass...killing him was easy...it felt good. It is because of him that I said what I said and in turn hurt Elena.

I told Stefan to clean up my mess once again, he was getting so good at it lately and I ran over to Elena's. She was on the front porch talking to Bonnie when I got there and rather than announcing my presence I hung back in the shadows.

"I am so sorry I am not there." Bonnie told her over the phone. "I don't know what I can do to help though even if I was there."

"I just wish that Damon didn't close himself off from me. I thought he was letting me in and that he actually cared about me but I guess not."

"Elena he does care about you...you are probably the only person he does care about." She told her. It wasn't true, I cared about her and Stefan too. I just really sucked at showing it. I didn't know how to show people that I cared because I was so scared of them not caring about me.

"How can he go from spending every moment with me to bringing home random slutty whores and barely talking to me?' Elena asked as I saw a tear slide down her cheek. I wanted to go over to her and wrap her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was but something was stopping me. Just saying the words wouldn't change anything, not really anyway. I had to prove to her that I did care...and before it was too late.

"Just remember all the stuff he has been though. You ran away after your parents died and still have a hard time talking about it. Damon practically spilled his guts to you after not talking to anyone in how long? You gotta expect some freaking out from him."

"I guess...but what about Stefan? He is acting like my body guard instead of my friend and he keeps disappearing for hours on end and refuses to tell me what is going on.

"Well at least part of the time he comes here. I keep seeing him at the edge of the yard or out the window or something but he wont come in at all." Saint Stefan...always trying to protect everyone else and ignoring his own demons. One of these days it will catch up to him. He doesn't get to be the hero all the time.

"How much longer are you going to be at your Aunts?" Elena asked Bonnie.

"Until my parents figure out this is a joke and let me go home...they can only keep me out of school for so long if they expect me to go to college.

"Call me again when you get a chance. I love you!" She said as she hung up the phone. I stood out there in the shadow hoping she would see me and turn around but she didn't. I hated how I felt, how Elena felt, how Bonnie felt, and how Stefan was acting because I knew exactly how he felt.

**Bonine POV**

After I got off the phone with Elena I crawled out my window and sat on the roof. I sent Stefan a quick text message. 'You stopping by tonight?' and no less than ten seconds later he appeared out of nowhere and silently sat down next to me.

I leaned my head onto his shoulder and felt how tense his muscles where. He felt more like a statue than the Stefan I had gotten to know in DC. After a few minutes he let out a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders and leaned his head against mine.

"Is this what normal is suppose to look like?" I asked him after a few more minutes.

"Definitely not." He mumbled without moving.

"I have missed you."

"You don't know how good it feels to hear you say that."

"Elena said that you guys were suppose to go on a double date with Matt and Caroline."

"Yeah...be normal teenagers...or something like that. Elena and I are not really a couple anymore though."

"What are you guys?"

"I don't know anymore. I cant talk to her because I am worried I will say something and it will make her do something stupid and when I don't say something she does something stupid anyway and then I have to be there to help put the pieces back together."

"You are talking about her Mom being Isobel?"

"Mmm Hmm. Damon turned her...he didn't kill her. She doesn't know that though and I do not know how to tell her but I think she probably already knows anyway."

"What about you? You look like you haven't slept in weeks."

"I haven't...not for more than an hour or two at a time anyway...Damon has had a non-stop party at our house." He said rolling his eyes.

"Do you want to stay with me tonight?" I asked him and the yard suddenly got darker as my parents turned out the lights in their room.

I felt him shrug his shoulders, "Stefan I want you to stay with me tonight." I told him as I stood up to climb through the window.

He turned to follow but paused at the window, "I already said come in Stefan." I said smiling at him and he hopped down off the window ledge.

"A twin bed?" he said referring to the tiny bed in the even tinnier room that we were in.

"Come get in bed with me." I said pulling him over while at the same time reaching over and locking the door to the room.

He crawled under the covers with me and rolled so he had his back to me. I gently wrapped my arm around his waist and pulled myself into him. As his body relaxed into mine I ran my fingers through his hair and down his face. I felt his muscles tense up and heard the hitch in his breath and I knew he was silently crying.

I held him tighter as he cried himself to sleep. He was mentally and physically exhausted and I couldn't allow myself to relax until his breathing had evened out and I knew he was asleep. I gently kissed his shoulder and then closed my eyes and fell asleep.

When I woke up a few hours later I was alone in the bed and in his place was a simple note scribbled on a scrap piece of paper; 'See you tonight.' I smiled as I read it and then hopped out of bed and went down the hall to shower before I would be forced to begin another day of yoga and sharing fake feelings.

**Stefan POV**

I woke up in her arms feeling more refreshed than I had since we returned from our vacation from reality. I left a quick note and left...I had to be home in time to make sure Elena got to school okay. I sent her a text saying I would be there shortly and then took off running. I paused in the woods feeling the presence of others, I should have kept running but I didn't...I walked right into their trap.

I hoped that they would just kill me...but they didn't...they staked me, they tied me up and then they left me. Only to come back every few hours to torture me some more. At one point he dropped Vervain directly into my eyes. While I was hanging there I concentrated on seeing them again. Bonnie and Elena; I focused on their faces and prayed that someone would come rescue me.

**Bonnie POV**

He didn't show up...He said he would come but he didn't show up. I tried texting him, I tried calling him and it just kept going to his voicemail. I tried calling Elena and no answer...hell I even tried to call Damon. Something was going on and I was extremely worried about them.

I tried to forget about the lack of contact for two days but by the third day I was going crazy so I called Caroline. Elena had been at school both days and left as soon as school was over each day with Damon picking her up. She hadn't seen Stefan though. I also heard about all the random things that her and Matt had been doing...and all the stuff that Matt's mom had been doing. Talking with her made me feel more like a normal teenager again instead of a witch whose witch grandmother had just died.

I was starting to resent the closeness that the three of them felt and felt like I was in a different world from them...a different world from Caroline but at least Caroline's world was that of a normal teenager...and she answered her phone when I called.

**Damon POV**

They had him...Frederick and his gang of moron vampires...they had Stefan. They had him because I was stupid enough to throw the bag of blood against the wall and free each and every one of them. I had to get him back.

Elena was so set on saving him that she wanted to walk into a house full of angry vampires just to get to him. I couldn't her get hurt too. She still loved him, it was different than how a woman should feel about a man though. I had not seen them kiss even once since we got back but they had not officially broken up.

Elena went with me to talk to Alaric and after a great deal of bullshitting, and Elena talking to him he agreed to help us. She got mad when I refused to let her go and help. I tried to ignore her but she had some good points. To shut her up for good I told her, "I cant protect you Elena. I don't know how many vampires there are in there..." I snapped my fingers, "Thats how long it takes to get your head ripped off. I have to be able to get in and get out. I cant be distracted with your safety or this will end up a blood bath that none of us walk away from...including Stefan....I know...I get it...you understand?" I said calming down and feeling bad for yelling at her. I quickly grabbed her arm in a pitiful attempt at a hug before following Alaric out of the classroom.

I was scared as we were headed into the house. I prayed that Elena would do what I told her and just stay in the car. I hoped that Alaric would do what we had planned and just go in and come out. Something in my gut told me that it was going to end up a big mess by the end of the night. Something bad was going to happen...Elena said that a couple weeks ago and now I am feeling it too.

When I killed the lady to get in...I was worried that Alaric would freak out...but he didn't. He did what I had asked him to. I ran around the house as quickly and quietly as I could. "Are you insane?" I asked when I walked down to the basement finding Elena. What in the hell was she thinking. Alaric sure fine whatever he had his stupid ring and couldn't be killed...and really I didn't care if he was...but Elena...that I could not handle.

Once we found Stefan I was glad Elena didn't listen because she was able to undo the ropes without burning herself. "You rescue. I distract. Go." I told her as she dragged Stefan out of the basement. When I went back up I had to fight my way out and luckily Alaric showed up with his gun or else I would have been killed. I saw Frederick run out of the house though and knew he was after Stefan...I only hoped that Elena could hold him off long enough for me to get there.

**Stefan POV**

Her blood...she gave me her blood. I hadn't had human blood for over a hundred years and wow...now I cannot stop...nothing compares to her blood but I cannot use her...not like that. I tried to stop drinking blood but I couldn't stop...Damon knew it...at first he tried to keep his habit away from me but then he just left the blood. He didn't know how bad off I was.

I felt more alive than I ever had. Elena had gone back to acting like my girlfriend and I liked having her around...she couldn't ever find out that I was using human blood though. It would ruin everything. She thought that she had helped me to quit but really it just made it worse.

At the party when Matt's slut of a mother cut her head it was all I could do not to rip into her neck and suck her dry. I ran away as far and as fast as I could...when I made it out to our old home I sat down and cried. I hated feeling like this...so alive but so out of control.

I felt like a drug addict stealing blood from the hospitals blood bank and hiding them down in the basement. I thought I was doing well hiding my habit until Damon caught me. I think he was conflicted as to whether he was excited or pissed but I didn't think he would say anything.

**Bonnie POV**

It was hard to see Stefan back in the classroom on my first day back. It hurt to look at him, to look at Elena...they just reminded me of losing Grams. I knew it would get easier with Elena but something was off about Stefan. He looked different...something had changed.

I felt horrible for giving Elena the cold shoulder but it was just too hard to be normal when we obviously were not. While I was gone they found Vicky's body. Matt had been crushed and Caroline called me and we talked every night. She didn't know how to help Matt deal with losing his sister and also with all the stuff going on with his mom.

Instead of wishing to be with Elena and our magic little family I wished to be with Caroline and Matt being normal high schoolers. It had been a long time since I spent time with her and it felt good to talk to her every night. She knew I was a witch but didn't have to know all the details about what had happened. I could be myself with her and not have to have all the baggage that went along with Elena, and with Stefan and Damon.

I only hoped that I would get up the nerve to explain it to Elena so she would give me space without being hurt and to know that I loved them and would always be there if they needed me but I needed to be me first.

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_**Woo hoo for Bonnie being in the last episode...I am trying to keep my story in line with what is happening with it still saying in what I had pictured going on. Please leave constructive comments! Telling me that the story is not what you thought it would be and you loved it but now it sucks---that is not constructive--I love comments and write so people can enjoy reading...just like I enjoy reading other stories. It is not going to fit in line with what EVERYONE things should happen cuz not everyone agrees....anyway... Please let me know what you thought!**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Damon's POV**

As I stood there waiting for Elena to come down the stairs I was scared to death. As hard as I tried I knew I would never miss a step in the dance but I did not know if she would actually dance with me...she was suppose to dance with Stefan...but Stefan had gone off and disappeared.

As we danced on Elena relaxed and I think she actually had fun. "What are we going to do?" She asked me.

"Right now we just have to get through this." I answered as we started dancing. At first we were both stiff, nervous but then...when I felt her gentle touch...it changed everything and I relaxed. Truthfully the two of us made a pretty good team. I just wished it didn't always feel like I was taking her away from my brother or ruining her life with more vampire messes.

When the dance ended luckily they went right into crowning Caroline the queen. Sheriff Forbes called me when John found a broken mirror in one of the bathrooms and she told me the Amber girl was missing. I grabbed Elena and we were able to make a quick escape. Bonnie followed somehow witchy sensing that something was going on. It was not hard to find them...they were just in the woods outside of the party. Stefan looked truly scary...he was a mess. I tried to get close and stop him from hurting Amber further.

If he killed her then we most likely would have been discovered and I didn't know how much more I could talk our way out of. He half heartily threw me into a tree but I could see that he wanted to stop. As I got up to stop him Bonnie did some of her witchy magic to paralyze him. It worked well enough to make him stop, to bring him out of his trance, he looked around and see our horrified faces and then he ran off.

Elena started to run off after him but I caught her and made her stop, "it isn't safe right now Laney...give him a few minutes, we will get the sheriff and report this so he doesn't get caught and then I will take you back there and we will put an end to this now."

"How are you going to end it Damon?" Bonnie asked me.

"Elena is going to go into his room and get him to talk to her and then she is going to stab him with one of Alaric's darts and we will put him in mandatory detox." I tried to explain.

The girls seemed to agree so I called Forbes and had her rush over and rambled off a stupid story and all the girls had to do was look scared and nod.

I took the girls back to the party, "Can we go get Stefan now?" Elena asked softly.

"Please call if you need anything." Bonnie said before getting in her car and leaving.

Elena followed me to find Alaric, update him on what happened...she somehow got him to agree to give her the dart without actually coming to the house.

**Elena POV**

When I saw Damon at the foot of the steps I was worried about Stefan...I was so thankful that Damon was there though. I couldn't have handled not having anyone. It was nice dancing with him...he was back to the guy I had gotten to know on our trip, the relaxed one, the one who opened up and showed some weakness. He was scared to death about what Stefan was doing but instead of going after him he knew I needed him.

After Caroline was crowned I just wanted to go. The day had been hard enough without my Mom there and now this... so when Damon came up to me and told me about the mirror I flipped a little. We ran out of the building just in time to hear Amber shriek. Stefan wasn't Stefan anymore...

I was glad that Bonnie was behind us because she was able to stop him from killing Amber. It had to be hard for her, to see Stefan act as a true vampire when her grandmother had died to save him because he was different. When we were walking back to the party she told me that she couldn't handle being around it...that I needed to stop pushing her. I didn't blame her...I probably would have done the same thing. I had to keep reminding myself that the four of us were connected for life and I had to keep believing that things would work out in the end. They had to.

Damon came back into the party once they had taken Amber to the hospital. I told Jenna I was going to get a ride with Damon and for her to stay and have fun. Alaric looked at me questioningly but didn't say anything, I knew he wouldn't in front of Jenna. He understood how dangerous it was.

As we pulled up to the boarding house Damon turned to me. "Stay in the car until I tell you otherwise...there are other vampires here."

I was scared that they had come to finish off Stefan once and for all but then I saw Anna...and then Pearl stepped out. I do not know what was said between them but they left peacefully and then Damon allowed me to get out and go into the house.

I walked slowly up the steps to Stefan's room. He was pacing like a caged animal. "You shouldnt be here." He told me. "Now you know."

"That wasn't you."

"No...it was absolutly me. A monster, a preditor, its who I am Elena."

"That's what the blood makes you."

"The blood brings out whats inside of me. If you think differently you are an idiot."

"I know this isn't you Stefan."

"I wanted to drain every ounce of blood from that girls body."

"No."

"It's who I am Elena."

"No. You can't scare me off."

"Why would you risk it? Why would you come here?"

"Because I did this. This is my fault. I am the one who made you drink the blood."

"All you did was expose me to who I really am."

"This isnt you."

"Stop saying that." He said knocking things over. "Don't get any closer to me."

"I'm not going to let this happen to you."

"Stop."

"Stefan I am not giong to give up on you. I believe in you."

"Stop!" He said coming closer to me and slamming his fist into the wall next to my head. He stopped "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay... Its okay." I whispered and he held onto me.

"I don't know what is happening to me." He said starting to cry.

"It's going to be okay...you are going to be okay" I whispered as I reached my hand around and slammed the dart into his back. It hurt as I saw him fall to the floor unconscious. I had to do it...he would want me to do it. Stefan, the Stefan I knew did not want to hurt people.

"You sure you want to do this?" Damon asked me walking into the room.

"I'm sure." I said trying to keep the tears from falling from my eyes. I followed as he picked up his younger brother and carried him down to the basement where he locked him into the same cell that he himself had been locked into.

"There is no guarantee this is going to work." He told me after he locked the door.

"It has to." I answered as I looked into his very scared deep brown eyes.

My eyes followed him as he started to walk out. "Coming?" he asked me sadly.

"I'm gonna stay here." I said sitting down on one of the steps.

He looked at me with a wonder in his eyes I had only seen a couple times before he sat down on the floor close to me with his back against the door to the cell. A few hours later I started to hear Stefan moaning in the cell. I wanted to run in there and hold him but I knew that I couldn't.

"Laney we should go upstairs... you shouldn't be down here for this...it is dangerous." Damon whispered. I nodded and allowed him to lead me upstairs. It tore my heart out to leave as he was in so much agony.

Damon led me up to the study and sat down next to the desk and thumbed through one of Stefan's journals. "Have you read any of his journals?" I asked him.

He nodded but didn't look directly at me. "You are scared about what is going to happen to him now aren't you?" I asked.

"What does it feel like to...dry out?" I asked.

"Like you are dying...but you know you wont... you just get weaker and weaker until you cant even breathe...you just sit there and can do nothing but think about all of the things you have done..." He answered as tears welled in his eyes.

"Do you think he will go back to being the same person as before?"

"It depends on how he reacts..."

"How do you think he will?"

"When he gets to the point he cannot move...I will bring him animal blood...like what he has been eating this whole time... if he is able to maintain on that I hope that it will curb his cravings and after a couple weeks we will test him by bringing you down there and see what he does."

"You are going to use me as a test?" I asked surprised.

"You are the only one crazy enough to agree to it Laney." He explained as he bumped into me on purpose seeking out the affection he was too afraid to ask for. "Are you going to be able to look at him the same after tonight?"

"I don't know. With you I know that you wont hurt me because you have control...but Stefan...he doesn't have the control."

"Are the two of you still in a relationship?"

"No...we haven't been technically since he broke up with me for my safety before we went to Atlanta."

"Technically Laney? Come on... I wasn't born yesterday."

"I don't want to be his girlfriend but it doesn't have to do with what happened tonight."

"Then what does it have to do with?"

"I need a boyfriend who can be my friend first. I don't want a boyfriend to be a body guard. I don't want a boyfriend I have to keep a secret. I don't want a boyfriend I cannot talk to...I want a boyfriend who can talk to me about the shit they are going through instead of just what I am going through."

"You need someone normal?"

"I don't know what I need right now...I know what I want though."

"And what is that Laney?"

"Someone to be my friend first." I said starting to cry.

He walked over closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm not so good at the comforting thing but I will always be here for you." He whispered holding me tight into his body.

"I am scared for Stefan...he is so messed up right now...he needs us to just be there for him."

"What about you Laney?"

"I will be fine."

"Bull shit."

"Okay well what I am trying to figure out is like nothing compared to..."

"It is different but it isn't less important."

"So then you and I can talk and help each other away from Stefan."

"What about Bonnie?" Damon asked me as he led me out of the living room and up to his bedroom.

"She is upset...her Grams was like her whole family and she died because she was trying to save you and Stefan and now he has turned into..." I didn't know how to finish my thought...what had he turned into?

"A monster?" Damon asked smirking.

"Damon you know that isn't what I think."

"Elena he is a vampire hooked on blood because you taste too damn good for him to resist and instead of putting himself together he went off the deep end."

"So how do we put him back together?"

"I don't know if we can...he needs to talk to Bonnie and we need to turn him so he ages and can live like a normal person. That will help him some... I don't know how to get him to drink again though..."

"Do you think if we mix some dog blood with my blood it would help? Kind of take him off slow instead of cold turkey."

"That might actually work but we need to see what he really wants. I don't know how to talk to him though...he has shut himself off completely from me."

"Maybe if we go in together."

"You are not going into the cell."

"I can do what I want Damon."

"I don't know if I can protect you."

"I don't care."

"Yes you do."

"Then make Alaric let me borrow his ring."

"What about your lovely uncle?"

"He is an ass."

"Alaric it is." Damon said frustrated. "Lets go get it."

**Bonnie POV**

I hate it. I have to go help him, talk to him...if he wont talk to Damon or Elena then I will make him talk to me. He was clinging to Elena again and it seemed like he wanted to be her boyfriend again but I think it was really that he just wants her blood...when I saw Damon dancing with Elena I knew what their choices were even if they didn't yet.

They both loved Stefan but neither of them understood what it was like to want something so badly but to now allow yourself the pleasure of actually getting it. Grams liked Stefan, she trusted him. When I saw Elena and Damon leave the boarding house I went in. Grams had told me about the cells in the basement so I knew where to find Stefan when I went in.

The Stefan I found in the cell though was not the same Stefan that I had seen at school only a few days before. He was curled up in the fetal position on the little cot that was in the cell. A water bottle of blood was on the floor next to him untouched. I knew he heard me walking towards him but he didn't move; I sat down on the cot next to him and lifted his head so it was resting on my knee.

The simple touch was enough to make him wrap his arms around me and cling onto me. I felt my pant leg get warm and wet as he cried silently. I stroked his hair and held him until he calmed down again and I felt him relax. "I want the pain to end...everything is my fault. I...everything that has happened...it is all my fault."

"Do you want me to turn you?" I asked him barely even a whisper.

"Can you?" He asked.

"I can try...it was the spell that Emily was working on when she died...Grams added some to it but I don't know if it works."

"What about Damon?"

"The spell is to turn all vampires human again that were turned by the same blood...so if I can do it on Katherine it will turn you, Damon, and everyone else that she has turned or that anyone she has turned has turned."

"What will happen if it doesn't work?" He asked me as he wiped his eyes. He was too weak to sit up.

"You will age like a human but still will need blood to survive."

"So even if it doesn't work right away it will make it so that within a few decades all of us will die?"

"I think so."

"How soon can you do it?"

"We have to have Katherine to do it...so we have to find her."

"Does Damon know you are down here?"

"No."

"Elena?"

"No."

"Where are they?"

"They went to see Alaric about his ring. Damon is scared to let you near her and said that she needs one of the stupid rings to come talk to you."

"But I thought that the spell from your Grandmother made it so we couldn't hurt each other."

"It was suppose to."

"But they don't want to risk it?"

"Since the vampires all escaped the tomb we thought was sealed..."

"That isn't your fault Bonnie." He said smiling softly up at me.

"Maybe not but you and Elena have been attacked by them and I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you." I said reaching down and picking up the water bottle. "Please drink it Stefan." I said quietly as I stood up leaving him alone on the cot. "I have to go before they get back but I wont be far."

"Thank you Bonnie."

"For what?"

"For not giving up on me."

"Call me when you are ready." I said walking out of the cell and shutting the door behind me.

**Stefan POV**

I cannot stand the guilt anymore. I wish I never would have done it...I should have never tasted his blood...I should have never gone into the house...if I didn't then I would have never turned and I would have never forced Damon to turn.

If I kill myself now I will not have to suffer anymore...I wont be able to hurt anyone else...I wont be able to put anyone else in danger. Bonnie thinks she can help me but there is nothing she can do to take away all the guilt I have. I allowed only one tear to fall as I slipped my ring off my finger and set it on the cot before going to walk outside. It was dusk, I knew I would only have a few hours before the sun came out and would be killed so I went to the river. To the same spot Damon and I had washed the blood out of our clothes after the bullets from our father's weapons should have killed us.

I stood there transfixed in time and space until I felt her presence. I had no idea how she found me, I did not leave a note, I did not ever bring her to this spot...then I felt Damon's presence. They were both crying. She was holding my ring.

"Stefan what the hell are you thinking?" She asked me, her voice hardly a whisper. "This will not help anything. I need you...Damon needs you."

"Elena don't." I said refusing to look at her.

"Don't be selfish Stefan Salvatore. You are looking for the easy way out and that is bull shit. You have lived your life in a way to help people not hurt them and you being this stupid is only going to hurt people."

"You don't know anything about it so just go and leave me alone." I said fighting back the tears. Everything she was saying was true. I just didn't know how to deal with it anymore.

"She may not know but I sure as hell do so put your damn ring back on your stupid finger or I will force it on." Damon said walking over with tears streaming down his face. He stood behind Elena and held onto her waist for support standing. I saw her take hold of one of his hands with hers as she held out my ring to me with her other hand.

"Please don't do it this way Stefan." She whispered to me.

"Put your ring back on and lets go home and deal with this together." Damon said.

"You want to deal with something? God Damon, you have refused to talk to me about anything for almost two hundred years and now you want to talk?"

"Yes...I want to talk. I want to talk to you about everything I should have said to you since you were freaking born...since Mom was killed. I need to talk and I need you to listen." He begged.

Elena handed me the ring and with tears in her eyes she whispered, "If you are going to kill yourself I cannot be here to watch. I will be at the boarding house when you come back." She said squeezing Damon's hand and running off.

A part of me wanted to chase her but I was frozen in place. Once Damon knew she was out of ear shot he got in my face and started screaming at me. "I cannot do this alone. I need you. I need my God damned little brother. I need my best friend. It is Katherine's fault we are like this and we need it to end the right way. Put your fucking ring on and lets go!"

I just stood there. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. For the first time I felt like falling into his arms and having him hold me like he did when I was just a baby and our father refused. I dropped to my knees in the mud and wept. The change must have shocked Damon because he had stopped yelling and knelt down next to me. "Put your ring back on and lets go home." He said as he slid the ring onto my finger as the sky began to turn pink from the sunrise.

**BONNIE POV**

"Get to the boarding house now. Stefan left without his ring and was going to let the sun kill him and Damon is down with him now and I hope he brings him back but if he doesn't..." Elena cried into the phone.

"What?" I asked confused...it was too early in the morning to comprehend what she was saying. Once what she had said sunk in I exclaimed, "Oh My God! I am on my way over now." I said hanging up the phone and running out the door.

I walked through the door of the boarding house as the sun was rising and found Elena pacing in the living room. It was freezing in the house so I made the fire start and ran to her wrapping my arms around her neck.

"He needs to come back..." Elena was whimpering over and over.

"He will...Damon will make him." I responded each time.

We both froze as the sun started streaming through the window...Elena's panic rose as did mine. It was my fault, I left the cell unlocked...he had to come back. We had to end all of this by ending Katherine. Stefan and Damon deserved to live normal lives...Elena and I deserved to live normal lives.

We slowly went to the couch and sat down and stared at the fire...if Stefan had left his ring off he would be no more than the ash at the bottom of the flames. That would destroy Damon. If Stefan didn't come home either would Damon.

I heard a clunk as Damon kicked open the door carrying Stefan. He was too weak to walk, he still had not fed and he struggled to move last night when I had left him. Damon carried him silently up to his bedroom and laid him gently on his bed.

"Elena whether or not he wants this he needs it." Damon told Elena.

"Is it in your room?" She asked...he nodded and she walked out to go get whatever it was they were talking about.

I went over and sat down next to Stefan on the bed and held his cold hand in mine. "We do things together Stefan, forever, no matter how long forever is." I whispered.

Elena came back in with a water bottle of blood and handed it to me. "Can you make him drink it?"

"Why wouldn't he want it?" I asked as I held the bottle to his lips.

Stefan growled, "I will not drink that."

"You will drink it." Damon demanded.

"What is it?" I asked still confused...what was so different about this blood than what he was used to.

"My blood mixed with animal blood. He needs the strength after not having anything for this long."

"You thought it was a good idea to give him your blood when it was your blood that started all of this?" I asked getting upset.

"That is why he needs it Bonnie...it is the only thing that can make it all stop." Damon whispered. "Please just make him drink it." He begged me. I tipped the bottle onto his lips and he drank slowly. I could see the color come back to his skin and feel the warmth come back into his body.

Once he finished Damon whispered, "he needs to sleep now. Really sleep. He needs blood every four hours and he needs to sleep in between. He cannot be alone but it will not be safe for Elena to be in here with him until he is done with all of the bottles."

"How many are there?" I asked.

"Twelve." Elena answered. "Each one has less of my blood and more of the animal blood."

"Good think it is a weekend." I said attempting to smile.

"Do you want me to stay with him?" Damon asked me.

"No. I will stay with him. You and Elena go get some sleep. I will wake you if I need you." I told Damon as I demonstrated how I would tell him.

**Damon POV**

I felt a beating in my chest... where my heart should be... "What the fuck is that Bonnie?"

"You feel that you come fast. Otherwise we will see you in four hours." She said smiling.

"Little witch is finally starting to use her witchy powers. Aren't you cute." I said rolling my eyes and walking out of the room with Elena following behind.

I went into my bedroom and sat down on the edge of my bed. Elena crawled into my lap and started to cry. I had seen her cry in the past but not like this...this was scary...she was shaking and crying so hard that she could barely breathe. I moved further onto the bed and laid down holding her as tight as I could.

"I...I...cant...lose anyone else..." she choked out.

"Laney I will do everything I can to keep that from happening." I whispered trying to sooth her. I couldn't help but think about her Uncle John and Isobel, does she know who her real father is? Does she know she is really Jeremy's cousin? That she is actually a Gilbert? I know that Isobel and John want to keep me and Stefan from hurting her...they just don't understand that I would give up my life for her...I would do anything to keep her safe and happy. I needed to talk to him and make him understand but I didn't know how.

When she calmed down she asked me, "when did you realize that John was my dad?"

"What?" I asked...could she read my mind?

"I know you think it...but when did you?"

"I remembered them dating. Then she just disappeared and then not too long after she came to me to change. She kept mumbling something about fixing what her aunt started but I never really understood what she was talking about."

"So everyone needs to stop Katherine and life can be normal again?"

"I don't know about normal but we wont have a vampire problem anymore."

"I don't think you are a problem." She said hugging me softly.

"We need to talk to John."

"Once again you have read my mind."

"Is Bonnie okay to be alone with Stefan?" Elena asked me.

"We have about 45 minutes until he gets the next bottle. We can call and have him come here but yeah she is safe with him. She can probably control him better than I could."

She walked over to the mirror and wiped her eyes and straightened her hair and then walked out of my room determined. "John I need to you to come to the boarding house now." I heard her demand into her phone.

"You have lost your mind Little Girl." He responded.

"You have five minutes." She said hanging up the phone.

I walked down and stood in the doorway to the living room. "Laney do you want me here when you talk to him?"

"I want you close."

"I will wait in the Library." I told her as I heard a knock on the door. "I love you Laney." I said as I walked out of the room. I could hear her heart beat speed up but she didn't say anything before she opened the door.

**ELENA POV**

John looked extremely uncomfortable when I opened the door. "Sit on the couch." I demanded.

"Elena cant we have this conversation somewhere other than here?" He asked me as he walked towards the couch.

"Sit." I said again. He sat. "Why the hell did you never tell me that you were my real father?" I asked.

"That is what this is all about?" He asked.

"What the hell else would it be about?"

"I didn't tell you because I was scared."

"Scared?"

"Yes Elena believe it or not but I loved Isobel. She was my high school girlfriend and things happened."

"So why didn't you guys raise me yourself?"

"We couldn't Elena. Don't you get it?"

"No I don't get it." I said yelling. "You knocked her up and she didn't want me so you talked your brother into lying and then raising me himself so that she could go off and marry Alaric and then ditch him to go turn into a vampire and run away. Why? What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?"

"You didn't do anything. I was trying to protect you by doing what I did...you don't understand."

"So freakin explain it to me. I am not a kid anymore. Two of my three best friends are vampires. It is no secret that you know and yet you pretend like you don't. What do I not understand?"

"Vampires are not safe for you Elena."

"Oh give me a break would you please...Stefan and Damon are not going to hurt me."

"They will. You cant have this life Elena. Either they will leave you or you will grow old and leave them. There is no forever for them because they just stay the same forever."

"No. Now you don't get it. That isnt going to happen."

"So you are going to have them turn you? I don't think so Elena."

"No. They are going to turn back."

"That is not possible Elena."

"Yes John it is possible." I said glaring at him. "And you are going to help."

"What are you talking about?" He asked me leaning forward.

"I need you to trust Damon, Stefan and Anna. The rest I don't care about but you don't dare touch them or I swear to God I will have Damon turn me right now."

"No. We are going to solve the entire vampire problem."

"No you are just going to make things even worse for me. You get us Katherine and we are going to make it so everyone that is connected to Katherine, including Katherine, to turn human."

"How in the hell do you plan on doing that?"

"It is better if you don't know."

"Elena tell me now."

"Why the hell should I tell you anything? You didn't tell me you were my father. You want to kill my best friends. You have never done anything other than lie to me so why should I explain anything to you."

"Fair but I need more than just to trust you."

"We need Katherine and then we can do the spell and it will turn her and everyone who had any vampire connection to her turn into a human."

"So it will turn everyone that she changed or that they changed into a human again? How is that possible Elena?"

"It just is now will you trust me please and help."

"Your friend Bonnie...she is a witch isnt she?"

"Why?"

"Because she is the only who would know how to...but the spell wasn't finished...how is she going to?"

"There have been 2 generations since Emily started working on that spell. Just get Katherine and trust me. And stop acting like an ass to everyone. There is a reason no one likes you."

"I trust you and you get rid of the vampires?"

"Yes."

"You have one month."

"We need Katherine and we can do it tonight."

"It is going to be hard to get her."

"Then don't freaking go and give me a time limit...you get her and we will do it. Thats it."

"You are so sure it will work."

"Well it will either change them to humans or kill them so what harm is it for you?"

"Elena please don't be mad at me. Isobel and I just wanted to protect you from all of this."

"I swear you are bipolar or something. What are you protecting me from?"

"Katherine."

"Why do I need protecting from her?"

"The same reason Isobel did. You look exactly like her."

"Isobel doesn't look like her."

"Not as much as you do but close enough it brought trouble."

"What are you talking about."

"Aparently Katherine has a thing for brothers. There have been three sets of brothers we know of who are looking for her. Damon and Stefan are just one of them. The other two we have killed."

"There may be more?"

"Yes. And I knew the only place you would be safe was if you were a true blooded Gilbert."

"You are a Gilbert."

"I wish I was. Our mother had an affair with a Salvatore."

"Who? Wait...what?"

"He was Zach's father."

"So Zach was your brother?"

"Yes."

"That is why you don't like them."

"Part of it."

"Did you always know you were really a Salvatore?"

"Not until right before Mom died. She always had me spend time over here growing up though."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this before?" I asked sitting down next to him.

"I couldn't let the secret come out or your dad could have lost his medical license, people would have criticized and kicked out our entire family and you were so happy and you were a Gilbert. Isobel was only 15 when she had you...I was barely older than that..." He said his eyes clouding up.

"Why have you always been such a jerk then? You barely came around on birthdays or other holidays and after Mom and Dad died you got mad that Jenna got us and not you when we were with Jenna all the time."

"I didn't know how to act around you. I was afraid the secret would slip and it would ruin everything. Then the accident and I freaked out."

"I wish you would have talked to me before."

"Me too Elena...me too."

"Can you please stop being mean to Damon and Stefan?" I asked. He squirmed in his seat, "John I love them and they have gone above and beyond to keep me from getting hurt. Did you know that Stefan was the one who pulled me out of the car? Damon saved me from the vampires who were let out of the tomb..."

"He is also the one who let them out of the tomb in the first place."

"No he didn't. That was Sheila and Bonnie and we thought that the seal had sealed again but it didn't because it killed Sheila and she opened it because I was stuck inside with Damon and Stefan."

"So I am suppose to trust Bonnie who let them out to get rid of all vampires?"

"Yes."

"Elena this sounds like a very bad idea."

"Yes well so was giving me away so you get me Katherine and let Bonnie do her thing and we are one step closer to being even."

"I have always cared about you Elena."

"That is why I asked for your help."

"I will do my best." He said standing up and walking towards the front door.

"Damon, Stefan, and Anna are safe John. You hurt them and we are done." I said as he walked out the door.

* * *

**_Ok well I was not amused by the last episode making Bonnie a traitor so in my world she isnt... Please please please leave comments!_**


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